It’s Good To Be Back

Last year was by far the worst year of my life!  I was in a total fog, not able to get in touch with myself.  I knew I was here and yet I was gone.  I couldn’t get a grasp of what was going on in and around me.  I was in a downward tailspin desperately trying to hold on.  I just kept sinking.  I knew which way was up but I was afraid.  I was afraid of expressing my grief and heartache because I didn’t want to feel it anymore than what I already was.  I was afraid to express my unhappiness and disillusions.  I was even afraid to reach out for help, support and guidance.  I felt so alone.  I even lost touch with my Inner Life and I lost my faith.  I was no longer taking a fearless leap of faith toward true happiness but instead I was falling with fear, sadness, and anger.  I was so angry at myself for allowing my feelings and emotions to get as far as they did.  

When it got to the point where I had enough of feeling this way, a miracle occurred.  I opened my eyes and allowed the truth.  I was able to see everything so clearly that it actually made me physically sick and yet at the same time I was filled with an overwhelming amount of relief and sense of peace.  I could actually breathe again. I took the next three months in stride, putting myself and my life back together, still swaying from time to time, but holding strong.  I took back control and did what I had to do in order to live the life I want and feel the way I should feel.  It didn’t have to be this way though.  Not because I knew better, but because I am in control of how I feel no matter what the circumstances.  I allowed too many things consume me and nearly eat me alive.  Instead of expressing, I crumbled.  

I can honestly say, it will never happen again.  My happiness, my state of mind, and my well-being are the most important things to me, as it should be.  If I am not good for myself, how am I supposed to be any good for anyone else.  As much as I suffered through the year, I now embrace it with great love and understanding.  It didn’t define me, but it did allow me to grow and to learn more about myself and others, some good, some not so good.  I am finally back to feeling like Cindy again and oh what a joyful feeling that is!  I sure did miss me! 

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be. – Cindy Ortiz

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy

It’s Time to Change Direction

On May 2, 2007 I made the first major change in the direction I was headed.  I changed direction because I did not want to end up where I was going.  At the time I was consumed with severe depression, addiction, misery and unhappiness.  I knew if I didn’t change direction it would only get worse.  I did what I had to do ~ I took a fearless leap of faith toward my own true happiness.  This change in direction was a major turning point in my life.  It gave me what I knew I had lost, what I knew was already a natural part of who I am ~ it gave me peace, joy, love, well-being and true happiness.   You see, when I changed direction, not only did I wake up, but I also left the past behind.  I lived in the moment with great delight of creating a new life for myself.  I could be, have, or do whatever I desired!

“If we don’t change the direction we are headed, we will end up where we are going.”  – Jodi Picoult

From that day forward I have continued to change direction for the sole purpose of enhancing my life and of bringing more joy and happiness into my experience.  This doesn’t mean I was headed down a bad road, it simply means that as I learn and grow from life experiences, the more I want what is best for me.  The more I want to experience a variety of joy and happiness.  I don’t want to live life anymore.  I want to BE life.  

You don’t have to be in a bad place or headed down a dark road to change direction.  Think about where you are and where you want to go.  Now ask yourself if what you are doing is going to take you there.  Is how you are living your life right now going to take you to where you want to go?  If you don’t want to end up where you are going it is time to change direction.  It doesn’t matter where you are, what you have, or what you don’t have, you have the power to change direction at any time.  The only thing stopping you is you.  How you change direction is entirely up to you.  It could be through changing your thought patterns or eating habits. It could be through finding a new job, moving to a new city, ending a relationship, starting a relationship, trying new things, meeting new people, exploring new places, walking instead of running, starting a meditation or exercise practice.  The possibilities are endless.  It doesn’t really matter how you change direction, as long as you change it.  If it gets you to where you want to go then you can’t go wrong! 

It is that time again for me to change direction.  Where I am headed could very easily turn into something wonderful, but I want more for myself.  I don’t necessarily mean material things either.  I just want to live as fully as I can through my Inner Life and right now I am not doing that.  I’ve been trying to, but I haven’t been trying hard enough.  I have been allowing myself to get bogged down with too much garbage rolling around in my head.  I have been living too much in my outer life instead of in and through my Inner Life.  So with that said, I am changing direction to allow an overall better feeling about myself and to create another new life.   So now, is it time for YOU to change direction? 

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be. – Cindy Ortiz

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy

Only You Know Why

86-1Sometimes we lose our way.  Sometimes we revert back to old negative patterns of behavior.  Why?  Only you know why.  At first you may not even realize it.  You may chalk it up to a bad day.  But before you know it, that bad day is now a bad month(s) or a bad year(s).  Then one day you wake up with that god awful feeling in the pit of your stomach.  You wake up seeing the truth ~ you have no clue who you are anymore.  You are destroying your life.  You lay there wondering how you got to where you are.  You wonder what happened to you.  You ask yourself, where did I go?  Where did I lose my way?  Where did I become so out of tune with my Inner Life that I allowed this to happen? Rest assured, you can change all of this.  All it takes is the will and determination to do so.

Taking Complete Responsibility for Your Life Changes Your Life

76-2Life may seem daunting to you right now, but let’s look at the bright side.  Yes, there is a bright side.  Through your awareness of where you are and where you want to be, you can now begin to build or re-build the life you so desire. There may be unwanted consequences along the way, but the most important thing for you to remember and focus on is where you want to be.  It doesn’t matter where anyone else is, this is completely about you.  Taking ownership of your life, your mistakes and/or your regrets will change everything, but you have to allow the change.  You have to want to change for your own personal well-being and happiness.  No one can do it for you.  Living in the past or holding onto what you once had will only hinder your growth, slow your progress forward, and keep you out of tune with your Inner Life.

Every Choice You Make Has An Outcome

27-2Regardless of where you are, be here now, be present in this time.  It is vital for this to be solely about you.  You have to be your #1 priority and you have to be honest with yourself.  It is time to stand strong and take the first step toward personal freedom.  Free yourself from all the negativity and pain.  Yes, I know you are hurting, but you can do this.  You know what you need to do.  You know where to go if you need help or guidance.  There is nothing to be afraid of.  True happiness, joy, peace, well-being, abundance and love are all waiting for you.  

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be. – Cindy Ortiz

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy