The True Way of Forgiveness

15Although I would prefer to live a life completely filled with joy, happiness and peace, we all know it is nearly impossible.  We all know there will be life experiences that hurt us, make us angry, take us to our knees, or leave us completely torn and breathless.  Some of the most difficult experiences come from our relationships and learning forgiveness.  Just recently, a very wonderful and wise man in my life reminded me of the true way of forgiveness.

When a life experience calls for forgiveness, more than likely we have made it quite clear what this person did to hurt US.  More than likely we spoke without love, compassion or understanding.  More than likely we reacted with anger, hostility and even feelings of hatred.  More than likely we didn’t give the other person a fighting chance.  More than likely we never thought about their pain or why they did what they did.  We just know they did US wrong and now we want to punish them and hurt them the way they hurt us.

Prayer 01Forgiving someone is not only vital to our own well-being, but it is also vital to the other persons well-being, sense of self, and ability to move forward.  When people do wrong, we should forgive them, comfort them, show them love, and guide them in a more positive direction.  We shouldn’t punish them or rub it in their face day in and day out.  This will only create negativity, resentment and more than likely it will destroy the relationship. 

Many will disagree, but there is nothing in this world that is not forgivable if one takes the time to come to a deep understanding of where the other persons wrong came from.  A negative action always comes from a place of fear or pain.  It never comes from a place of love, joy or happiness.  Sometimes our wrongs even come from self-sabotage because we can’t find the love within ourselves to make the right choices or decisions.  Many times we are so wrapped up in our fear, pain and negativity that we lose all hope.

There are some who believe that forgiveness is the same as saying what was done is acceptable, but it has nothing to do with what is acceptable and what isn’t.  It is about truly loving yourself and another enough to move through it with love, understanding and compassion.  Where you want it to go from there is completely up to you.  We all make mistakes and we all want to be forgiven so don’t treat those you love in any other way except the way you would want to be treated if it were you. 

70The true way of forgiveness is in fact through your Inner Life.  It is in fact about love, not punishment.  When it’s all said and done, just let it go.  There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to carry it with you, for if you do, your life will turn in an unwanted direction and you could very easily lose a relationship that really wasn’t worth losing.  Open your heart and allow yourself the beauty and freedom of the true way of forgiveness.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be …

Love & Light,

Cindy Ortiz

The Twists and Turns of Trust

09What is it about trust that gets us so tied up in knots?  I know I have had my share of trust issues, a few of which I still need to lay to rest.  However, life has become easier and more peaceful since I came to the realization of what trust issues really are and where they come from. 

In simple terms, trust issues are evil monsters that control us because we allow them to.  We allow them to run amuck 24/7 not giving ourselves a fighting chance to let go and move on.  They are the little mind monsters that remind you over and over again how someone hurt you, lied to you, left you, or cheated on you. 

Now, in reality trust issues are merely negative thoughts that cause us to become out of tune with our Inner Life, the greater and more powerful part of who we are.  The part of us that does not know negative energy such as trust issues, but only knows positive energy such as peace, well-being, abundance and unconditional love.

106These thoughts, as I am sure you already know, stem only from a PAST experience you choose to hold onto.  Yet, the past no longer exists so how can trust issues exist?  They exist because we give them the power to exist ~ but why?  I have asked myself this question over and over again and still can’t come up with a sane answer. 

Allowing trust issues into our lives robs us of our present moment life experiences so much so that it becomes torturous for some because they can’t let them go.  They can’t move out of the past and into the present so they end up getting stuck in a vicious cycle of negativity.  Nothing feels good when you can’t trust others, yourself included, not to speak of the Universe or God.

Trust issues grow through our OUTER life experiences.  This includes any and all relationships, even the one we have with ourselves.  Yes, some suffer from not trusting themselves to make the “right” choices and decisions and therefore creating a stress filled and unpleasant life.  Trust issues can also grow from someone else’s life experience such as death.  For example, if you lost your parents at a young age, it may have caused you to lose trust in the Universe or God.  You may think losing your parents was unfair making the Universe or God unfair, and therefore untrustworthy.  Or, if you suffered a traumatic childhood experience, you could have lost your trust in the Universe or God for not protecting you.

01Another reason so many suffer from trust issues is because of the label they give the experience that caused them not to trust.  We all label our unwanted experiences as something bad, something that hurt us, something that caused us to feel pain.  But what we tend to forget is that we have a choice as to how we feel.  We are the ones who choose to feel negative emotion and therefore choose not to trust anyone ever again.  Sounds kind of silly doesn’t it ~ that even one experience can be carried forward so much so that it affects every relationship we have from that point on.  WOW!  That’s a lot of untrusting going on isn’t it?

I am certainly not saying feeling some level of negative emotion is unwarranted, because it is warranted.  It is a natural human reaction to feel pain when someone hurts us.  What you choose to do with that pain is what is important.  If you allow it to take you down, ruin the rest of your life, and cause you never to trust anyone or anything again, well, you are in for a pretty unhappy and probably depressing life. 

58However, what if you were to put a positive spin on these experiences?  What if you were to be thankful for the experience, allowing it to guide you to a more positive place in your life.  A place where you can truly see and acknowledge that what another person does or says is not against you, it is against them.  It is who they are, not who you are.  What if you used it as an opportunity to step up to yourself, to build on your own worth, and to know without a shadow of a doubt that it wasn’t personal.  Wouldn’t that help ease the pain?  Yes, it may still hurt and that’s okay.  Just don’t let it take control of you.  If someone chooses to live a dishonest life, it’s all on them.  It is their “out of tune-ment” with their Inner Life which will eventually cause them all sorts of unwanted life experiences.

62Now, should you find yourself wrapped up in relationships that only cause you pain and distrust, it can only mean one thing.  You are still living in the past.  You are still emitting negative energy that screams “I can’t trust anyone”!  The more you focus on not being able to trust, the more people and things you can’t trust will come into your life experience.  It’s the law of attraction and there is no way around it.  What you put out, you get back, no questions asked.  What you want to do is focus on the type of relationship you desire leaving the trust issues out of it.  This will change the type of energy you are emitting and therefore attract positive and healthy relationships.

The twists and turns of trust are never in the Now.  They are never in your present life experience because they are never and will never be a part of your Inner Life.  The present moment is nothing but pure positive loving energy and your Inner Life is the present moment.  So, when you find yourself, and you will from time to time, tangled up in the twists and turns of trust issues, hit pause, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and focus on the present moment.  Feel the movement of your breath in and through your body…….you are here now, not there then.  Take some time to observe where your thoughts are and then bring yourself back to your Inner Life focusing on the things you know will make you feel good.  The more you practice living through your Inner Life versus your outer life, the faster your past experiences will fade, leaving your trust issues in the wind.

Love & Light,

Cindy

 

Second Chances

111There may come a time in your life when you are “offered” a second chance.  A chance to become who you are truly meant to be.  Through whatever means this second chance has come into your life, start from where you are.  There is no need to go back and rehash what was done right or wrong or how you ended up where you are.  There is also no need to start worrying about the future; as to whether or not things will work out or get better.

Too often we impair ourselves by believing we need to “clean up” the past, but this will only hinder where you want to go.  When you go back in time it pulls you away from your Inner Life, from who you really are, from the present moment.  It causes unnecessary pain because you remember how and why you lost your way in the first place.  If you stay focused on “what was” instead of “what is” it will slowly drain you of your happiness and self-worth.

Second chances are not about righting your wrongs or proving your worth; they are about you and only you on a very deep and personal level.  They are about you becoming who you really are by YOUR choice, not through the circumstances of your outer life or other people.  This in itself will alleviate and fade out any pain and/or destruction that was created before this moment.

106If a second chance is really what you want and desire then allow your heart to lead the way.  Live within the boundaries of your Inner Life and trust your instincts.  You will know which way to go and what words to speak.  You will know what feels good and what doesn’t feel good.  And you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all is well and all will be well.

All that really matters from this point forward is who you choose to be and how you choose to live your life.  You do not have to prove anything to anyone but instead love with all your heart and allow your Inner Life carry you to where you want to be.

Love & Light,

Cindy Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach 

* Please feel free to e-mail me at cindy@cindy-ortiz.com if you have any questions regarding today’s post, want to share your own experiences, or if you feel you need a little guidance in your life right now.  I will always respond within 24-hours PST.  With Much Love…..

 

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