Living Your Life Happily Ever After – You Are the Priority

43A part of living your life happily ever after means taking care of yourself first and making how you feel a priority.  This does not make you selfish, it makes you healthy and happy. 

I’ve been surprised over the years at the number of people who live their lives through what others want, need and expect from them, not to speak of what they think someone wants, needs or expects.  They feel an innate obligation to do for others in a way that ends up stealing their own happiness.  There is certainly nothing wrong with caring for and helping others out, but it has to be on your terms ~ on how it is going to make you feel at the time.  It has to come from your Inner Life, not from the expectations of your outer life.

The common response as to why people do this is because somewhere inside them they feel it is the “right” thing to do for whatever reason.  But I have to ask, who is it right for?  Is it right for you if it causes you to feel any type of negative emotion particularly resentment or anger?  Is it right for the other person when it creates a dependency on you and hinders their growth to take responsibility for their own happiness and well-being? 

38The feelings of it being the right thing to do, your responsibility or obligation all come from a place of fear.  Fear that if you don’t do what someone wants, needs or expects from you, something bad will happen to them.  However, you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness or well-being.  If something “bad” happens it is purely because of what they are attracting into their lives which has nothing at all to do with you.

When we live through our Inner Life it produces genuine love, kindness and positive energy.  It is through this love, kindness and positive energy you will always know what is best for you.  There will never be doubt in the taking care of or guilt in the not taking care of another.  You will give and help lovingly because it comes from a place of love versus guilt, obligation or fear.

In reality, this is not about anyone but you.  It is only about taking care of yourself first and how you feel.  When you feel good you are in tune with your Inner Life.  When you are in tune with your Inner Life, life flows easily and effortlessly.  Meaning, life will sort itself out including those who do not truly appreciate your loving kindness and only feel as if you owe them something.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

The Freedom of Forgiveness

08Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is about freeing OURSELVES from the pain, anger, resentment and negativity we hold against someone else so WE can move forward.  I believe the reason it is so difficult to find forgiveness is because we believe saying “I forgive you” means the same as saying “what you did was okay”.  However, this is not the case.  Forgiveness is not about saying what was done was “OK”; it is about offering a deep understanding toward the other person.  If someone does something that necessitates forgiveness it is because their actions are coming from a place of pain, anger or discontent within themselves and has absolutely nothing at all to do with you.  It is NOT personal so do not take anything anyone does or says “against” you personally.

When you live without forgiving you are choosing to live in pain and in the past.  This will create the inability to move forward in your own life and in future relationships.  You will become afraid of opening up and of being hurt; building walls to keep out any possibility of being hurt again. What you do not realize is that you are only hurting yourself.  You think you are punishing the other person by holding a grudge toward them but you are only punishing yourself.

We have to remember that we do not know what is inside someone else. We don’t know what drives them to do “right” or “wrong”, to lie or not to lie, to cheat or not to cheat.  But what we do know is that we have a choice. We can offer our understanding, knowing it has nothing to do with us and move on or we can hold onto the pain, anger and resentment that we CHOOSE to feel.  No one is to blame for how we feel but ourselves, and yes, this is hard to do at times.  Even I have allowed the words and actions of someone else control how I felt and where did it take me?  It took me to a place I never want to go again. A place where emotion and pain run way too high for comfort.  So what did I do?  I remembered I had a choice; I can feel good or I can feel bad.  And then I offered forgiveness with a deep understanding and it was then that I was able to move on and oh what a “freeing” feeling it was!

48So ask yourself this ~ are you holding onto any pain, anger or resentment because of someone else, because you have not been unable to forgive them?  Do you love yourself enough to free yourself from those feelings?  Would you like to allow yourself the freedom of forgiveness?  Then I say this to you….yes you….just do it. Just let go and move on!  There is no need to figure it out, pick it apart, analyze what happen or blame yourself.  It was never about you anyways ~ you are perfect exactly as you are and so are they. Find forgiveness in your heart and allow yourself the peace of mind and well-being you deserve!

Love & Light,

Cindy Ortiz

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