The Other Kind of Regret

42In yesterday’s post ~ Regret Does Serve A Higher Purpose ~ I spoke of regret in terms of saying or doing something you did not want to and then feeling regret for it.  This post is about the other kind of regret.

The other kind of regret is when you regret not doing or saying something you did want to.  And by this I mean something positive.  Like for instance, when you are out and about and something inside you says “go here, go there”, “talk to him, talk to her”…..and you don’t!  You know, the kind of regret where you feel like kicking yourself for not doing it!  We have all done it and we have all felt it,  but the question is, why don’t we follow that little voice in our head?

There is only one answer to this question and that is fear.  At the exact moment when your Inner Life is guiding you, you do the one thing you shouldn’t do:  THINK!  As soon as those thoughts of doubt or question come crawling into your mind, you react in fear.  You fear you will make the “wrong” choice or decision, but little did you know there is never a wrong choice or decision.  Little did you know your Inner Life; that which you really are, will never guide you in the “wrong” direction.  Every “nudge” you have had (and will have) and did not follow, came from the same place inside you.  It is the place inside you that can be trusted without question.

33If you find yourself swimming in a pool of regret time after time, you are going against who you really are.  Even if things don’t turn out the way you initially thought you wanted them to, how can you regret the experience at all?  How can you regret being who you really are?  How can you regret being you?  You can’t, and that is why whenever you follow the all-knowing little voice in your head, it will always be a win-win experience.

So, to make it easy on yourself and to be happier, just allow every experience to be what it is – an experience – then, there will never be regret.

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

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Regret Does Serve A Higher Purpose

51Throughout our lives we will say or do things that will cause regret.  These things may be said or done in the “heat of the moment” or while “temporarily disengaged” from our Inner Life, from who we really are.  The regret we feel may come instantly or it may come later after the realization of what we did hits us.  What makes it worse is when we not only hurt ourselves but when we hurt those we love.

Regret is a negative emotion that if held onto can cause even more pain and suffering then we are already experiencing.  It is also an emotion that could very easily control who we truly are.  If we live with the thought that we deserve to feel regret as punishment for the mistakes we made, it will eventually eat us alive; gnawing away at us piece by piece until there is nothing left.  On the other hand, regret does serve a higher purpose in reminding us of who we do not want to be and of who we are not.

The best thing we can do to pick up the pieces of the wreck we left behind is to remember that it now lies in the past.  There is nothing we can do to change it, but what we can do to make it better is to take responsibility for that which we said or did.  Owning up to our mistakes not only empowers us but it also helps to free ourselves from the pain we are feeling.  There is no sense in holding onto something in the past especially when it can cause so much damage to ourselves and eventually to those around us.

46When the regret we feel comes from hurting another, it is harder to let go of because we are not the only one hurting. Our words and actions can cut like a knife leaving a small trail of blood in its path. Trying to look someone in the eye to say “I am sorry” while feeling worthless and humiliated by our own hand is a humbling experience to say the least. There is no guarantee they will find forgiveness in their heart for us, but we must find forgiveness in our own heart for ourselves in order to heal.

Regardless of what caused our regret, we always have a choice as to who we are going to be at any given moment in time.  We can choose the same behavior or we can choose to live through our Inner Life, who we really are.  The choice is always ours.  Actions do speak louder than words.

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

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