Stop worrying about what is going on outside of you and start worrying about what is going on inside of you. So many humans live more in their outer lives than they do in their inner lives and then wonder why they never feel good or why things don’t work out for them. How you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally is a good indicator of what you are focusing on.
Think about all the things that cause you to feel hatred, anger, frustration, irritation, stress, anxiety, dis-ease, or sadness. Are any of them worth the price you pay? Are any of them worth giving up your happiness, peace and well-being for?
It goes without saying that if you want to make a difference, if you want things to change, start with yourself. When you start with yourself and make your happiness your #1 priority your life will begin to change. You will start to see all the good in the world instead of the bad. You will notice what is working instead of what isn’t working. You will soon find understanding and compassion in the people and things you once felt negativity toward. Your perception of life and how it is supposed to be will change as well, creating clarity, value and excitement towards what is still to come.
When you feel good and are happy it affects every area of your life including every person you come into contact with. You will be drawn to and attract the people and things that will enrich your life. Nothing or no one can change when approached with a negative state of mind. So do yourself a favor and focus on what is going on inside of you instead of what is going on outside of you. Make your inner life “right” first and then do what you can do to make your outer life “right”.
Love & Light,
Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach
It is when we truly know who we are and know our worth that we can stand on our own. We no longer need the people who cause us pain. The hurtful words and actions of others go through us instead of knocking us down. For me, they filter through my Inner Life and become purified into love. Love toward the one who is still suffering.
The one’s who suffer are the ones who hurt us the most. They say they love us and yet at the same time they aim their spears at us. Spears filled with THEIR inner pain masked as hurtful words and actions. When the pain of the past begins to stir within them it is easier to avoid what they don’t want to feel so they search for an outlet – another way around the pain instead of just facing the truth – their truth. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has done, said or is doing – it is not about another. Your truth is about YOU and only you know what that truth is.
If the suffering is understood, knowing someone’s hurtful ways come from their past pain, we can be patient because we understand. We can try to help and guide this person away from what doesn’t matter toward what really does matter. But just because we understand doesn’t mean we have to continue accepting their behavior toward us. For some there comes a point when enough is enough; when you have tried to be there, to reach out, to love, to be honest and forgiving but to no avail. It always seems just when you let your guard down, when you start to trust again, that spear comes flying out of the blue straight toward you. However, when you are confident and know who you are and know your worth, the spear will no longer affect you like it once did.
Ending this type of relationship does not make it wrong or selfish. It is a choice only you can make for yourself knowing what is best for YOU. For me, I thought I needed someone and I thought I needed their approval, but I came to realize when the last hurtful words and blame were thrown at me I no longer wanted the unhealthiness of the relationship. For once in my life I know who I am in the realm of the life I shared with this person. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I do not deserve to be blamed for this person’s unpleasant life experiences and/or unhappiness to whatever extent it may be. I do not deserve to be the target of the pain they choose to live with. The suffering will stop the moment they choose to live through their Inner Life because they will then feel what they have always been seeking…..pure, unconditional love of self and life.
The paths we all walk in life are different; making them unique to who we are and I accept this whole-heartedly in everyone I meet.
Love & Light,
Cindy Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach
* Please feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions regarding today’s post, want to share your own experiences, or if you feel you need a little guidance in your life right now. I will always respond within 24-hours PST. With Much Love…..