It’s Not Life Not Giving You What You Want, It’s You

75How are things going for you?  Is your life right where you want it to be or are you in a battle against it?  It’s okay to be where you are regardless of whether or not it is where you want to be.  It may not be the greatest place in the world, but it is a place.  A place you can be unhappy and miserable about or a place you can transform into something happy and fulfilling.  I know this because I have been there.  Maybe not the exact same circumstances, but I have certainly had my share of less than colorful life experiences, all of which I am extremely grateful for.

When things happen that we aren’t exactly thrilled about, it is up to us as to how we are going to let it affect our well-being and our life.  For most, and as a natural instinct of being a human being, we have a tendency to allow negative experiences completely take control of us.  It starts with the constant negative chatter in our heads playing the experience over and over again as if it is going to take it away or make it better.  Once your mind and the thoughts you are thinking have your full attention, the body soon follows.  It follows in the same manner it would if you were feeding yourself junk food 24/7.  It becomes poisoned leaving you feeling physically drained, sluggish, unhealthy, uncomfortable, unhappy and sick.  The worst part, at least for me, was also becoming out of tune with my Inner Life, the greater part of who I am.  Once this happens, life feels extremely difficult and becomes a constant struggle because you are no longer living through your Inner Life, but through your outer life.

77Unfortunately, thousands upon thousands of people have a really hard time with that which they don’t want, filling themselves with fear, worry, stress and anxiety.  In some cases, because the person doesn’t want to feel what the experience is causing them to feel, they turn to drugs and alcohol in an effort to numb themselves from feeling anything at all.  But as we all know, once the initial feeling of feeling nothing fades away, everything is still the same, and perhaps even worse because now you have added even more negativity and poison to your body, mind and spirit.

People tend to believe that life in general creates the problems in their lives.  If you are unhappy, broke, sick, hurt, or not getting what you want, the blame goes towards life.  You get angry, resentful, and even feel hatred for life.  For you, life turns into hard times and suffering.  It turns into something that is not joyful or satisfying for you anymore.  But, I am here to tell you the truth ~ it is not life not giving you what you want, it’s you.  You are the one who controls how you feel which in turn controls what manifests in your life.  So when you allow what you don’t want to affect you in a negative way you are not going to feel good.  You are going to be filled with negative thoughts and energy.  This alone will only create more of what you don’t want.

69If you are at a place where you don’t want to be, then stop being there.  Stop being a complete part of it and filling yourself up with it every minute of every day.  Just because there are things going on in your life you don’t want doesn’t mean you have to remain stuck in the middle of it all.  You can remove yourself from the negativity of it just by choosing to do so.  I realize it may be easier said than done, but when you make your happiness and how you feel the priority in your life you would be amazed at how quickly things change and fall into place.  

No matter what your current situation is, it is up to you as to how it will all play out.  If you fight against it, it will only make matters worse.  But if you open your heart up to it, accepting it and embracing it for what it is, everything will in fact change.  Trust me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how difficult it can be to love where you don’t want to be.  However, love is the power of life and it will transform you and your life in ways you never thought possible.  Love is a natural part of who you are ~ it is who you are ~ it is your Inner Life.  When you choose to live through your Inner Life, through love, everything else follows – peace, faith, trust, knowing, well-being, joy, and happiness.  There is no more fighting or struggle.

78I realize there are some situations in which there will be consequences.  Consequences you do not have control over, but just keep in mind, you still have control over how you feel about it and what you can create out of it.  Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the what if’s.  What is done is done.  What is happening is happening.  Go with it, accept it, embrace it, love it and trust it.  Trust it.

Remember, it is not life not giving you what you want, it’s you.  Allow the positive flow of loving energy flow through you and in you and then see and feel what happens!

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

Do You Believe In Yourself

73Believing in yourself will make you feel confident, self-assured and worthy.  You will stand up for what you believe in, acknowledge your accomplishments, and take pride in your work and efforts. Although things may not always go the way you want them to, you recognize that you did your best and you keep trying.  You do not acknowledge “failure” as a negative but as a stepping stone toward something better.  You have faith and trust that all is well and great things are yet to come.  You are authentic in who you are and treat yourself with respect.  You nurture and care for your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Your internal focus and thoughts are always on the positive aspects of life and of who you truly are.

If you live not believing in yourself it can lead to a very self-destructive life style. You will be filled with self-doubt, inherit self-sabotaging behaviors, call yourself names, criticize everything you do or don’t do, and question your worthiness.  You treat yourself the same way an abusive partner would treat you.  Eventually you grow to be detached from the world and live with self-hatred.  You no longer care about who you are or what you are doing.  You allow negativity to control you creating mental and physical health issues.

SONY DSCSomewhere along the line you attached yourself to negative belief patterns, all of which stem from your past. Your awareness of these belief patterns may not always be in the forefront but they are there just waiting for something or someone to trigger them.  Once they are triggered your self-worth drops ten stories and you are left standing in a pool of self-doubt.  Before you know it, you are out of tune with your Inner Life, the greater part of who you are, and life just seems to spiral downward.

The best way to conquer these negative belief patterns is to stop them as soon as they arise.  How will you know they have risen before it is too late?  You will know by how you feel.  As soon as you start feeling bad about yourself, take note of what you are thinking about.  Be consciously aware of what words are playing in your mind.  Once you are aware of what you are thinking, you are now in control because you have the power to stop it.  You have the power to change your beliefs. 

690A belief is ONLY a thought you keep thinking.  Take the time to replace ALL negative beliefs and thought patterns with positive ones even if you don’t believe them.  Eventually your mind will reprogram itself to believe the new thoughts and so will you!  This process will not only get you back in tune with your Inner Life, but it will keep you in the present moment and that is where you want to be.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

Telling the Truth About Yourself to Yourself

75I know all too well from past experience what unhappiness feels like and how it can destroy not only your sense of peace and well-being but your health and life experiences.  I also know what true happiness feels like and how it enhances your sense of peace, well-being, improves your health and creates joyous life experiences. 

The hardest part for me, into my journey toward true happiness, was telling the truth about me.  Writing down who I was at that moment in time, how I felt about myself, and the things I was doing to create my miserably unhappy life.  This journaling process did in fact create some pain, but it was only temporary.  It was no worse than living the way I was living on a day-to-day basis.  I took the bad with the good because I knew in my heart the only way back to me was to face the person in the mirror. 

68I had avoided myself for nearly 20 years because I did not like who I was.  I was uncomfortable in my own skin and couldn’t stand a moment alone with myself.  I tried everything under the sun to feel better but when nothing worked, I knew the time had come.  I knew I had to face who I was before I could release who I had become.  This did NOT involve going back through my entire past dredging up all the things I had regret.  It involved sitting down with pen and paper and talking to myself in the present moment.  I wrote about how I felt at that moment, I wrote about the things I was doing or not doing that were causing me to be unhappy. I wrote about my self-sabotaging behaviors.  I even wrote about what was bringing me happiness so I would have something good and positive to focus on.  I questioned myself and my motives and before I knew it, I had pages and pages filled with words that not only brought me relief, but brought me clarity.  When I was done, the answers were all right there in front of me.  That was the end.  There was no going back.  I walked out of who I was not and right into the greater part of who I truly am. 

76As simple and easy as it may sound, I would be lying if I said the last 8 years have been completely filled with joy, because they have not.  I have had significant struggles just like everyone else, but once I chose happiness and began living through my Inner Life, my life completely changed.  Through practiced awareness, meditation, mindful living, and putting how I feel as my priority, I have been able to handle life with ease, and yes, true happiness.  I may feel frustrated or sad from time to time, but I am never unhappy! 

There were some residual setbacks at the start of my journey, but I did what I had to do. Only this time I was doing it with no resistance.  I was no longer fighting with myself or with life.  I had surrendered to who I was not.  I had conquered the demons inside me.  It was then I was able to begin to love myself and feel the happiness that resided inside me.  It felt like I was born again and given a clean slate.  The only thing I wanted was to be truly happy and I wasn’t going to stop until I had it and learned how to maintain it.  This was 8 years ago.  Today, as I write this to you, I am still Leaping Like A Frog – A Happy one that is!

63As you learn and practice your way into true happiness, you will be witness to some of the most magnificent and amazing moments life has to offer. Just about everything changes in a manner that brings you peace, well-being, abundance and true joy and happiness.  All those worries and woes cease to exist, health issues begin to improve, healing replaces pain, energy increases, positive thinking replaces negative thinking, money starts flowing in, and all those dreams and desires you have will begin to show themselves!  But, it doesn’t stop there.  Reaching this “level” of happiness will create a shift so great that nothing else will matter except for how you feel.  It is then that being unhappy will be nearly impossible because you will have had the sweet taste of true happiness and nothing will take you away from that!

66There is nothing to regret, feel guilty over, wish you had done differently or carry pain for.  Your transition into true and lasting happiness will in fact dissolve these feelings.  The things you feared the most won’t create as much pain or upset as you may have thought they would.  This is because when you are in tune with your Inner Life, when you are focused on being and feeling happy, your reactions and thoughts change with the desire of wanting to feel good.  You will react in a more positive manner, one that will not shatter your feelings of happiness.

Telling the truth about yourself to yourself and then making happiness your number one priority will change everything.  It changes how you feel, how you think, what you have and what you don’t have.  It creates healthy relationships, satisfying careers, and yes, it even creates more money in the bank.  It also puts you back in tune with your Inner Life, the greater part of who you are.  With this will come complete well-being.  What more could you ask for?

78Perhaps this is the time for you to look inside yourself and to be honest.  For you to tell the truth about yourself to yourself.  The truth as to what you are doing or not doing that is creating your unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life.  It is not life not giving you what you want, it is you not giving you what you want. 

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach