What is it about trust that gets us so tied up in knots? I know I have had my share of trust issues, a few of which I still need to lay to rest. However, life has become easier and more peaceful since I came to the realization of what trust issues really are and where they come from.
In simple terms, trust issues are evil monsters that control us because we allow them to. We allow them to run amuck 24/7 not giving ourselves a fighting chance to let go and move on. They are the little mind monsters that remind you over and over again how someone hurt you, lied to you, left you, or cheated on you.
Now, in reality trust issues are merely negative thoughts that cause us to become out of tune with our Inner Life, the greater and more powerful part of who we are. The part of us that does not know negative energy such as trust issues, but only knows positive energy such as peace, well-being, abundance and unconditional love.
These thoughts, as I am sure you already know, stem only from a PAST experience you choose to hold onto. Yet, the past no longer exists so how can trust issues exist? They exist because we give them the power to exist ~ but why? I have asked myself this question over and over again and still can’t come up with a sane answer.
Allowing trust issues into our lives robs us of our present moment life experiences so much so that it becomes torturous for some because they can’t let them go. They can’t move out of the past and into the present so they end up getting stuck in a vicious cycle of negativity. Nothing feels good when you can’t trust others, yourself included, not to speak of the Universe or God.
Trust issues grow through our OUTER life experiences. This includes any and all relationships, even the one we have with ourselves. Yes, some suffer from not trusting themselves to make the “right” choices and decisions and therefore creating a stress filled and unpleasant life. Trust issues can also grow from someone else’s life experience such as death. For example, if you lost your parents at a young age, it may have caused you to lose trust in the Universe or God. You may think losing your parents was unfair making the Universe or God unfair, and therefore untrustworthy. Or, if you suffered a traumatic childhood experience, you could have lost your trust in the Universe or God for not protecting you.
Another reason so many suffer from trust issues is because of the label they give the experience that caused them not to trust. We all label our unwanted experiences as something bad, something that hurt us, something that caused us to feel pain. But what we tend to forget is that we have a choice as to how we feel. We are the ones who choose to feel negative emotion and therefore choose not to trust anyone ever again. Sounds kind of silly doesn’t it ~ that even one experience can be carried forward so much so that it affects every relationship we have from that point on. WOW! That’s a lot of untrusting going on isn’t it?
I am certainly not saying feeling some level of negative emotion is unwarranted, because it is warranted. It is a natural human reaction to feel pain when someone hurts us. What you choose to do with that pain is what is important. If you allow it to take you down, ruin the rest of your life, and cause you never to trust anyone or anything again, well, you are in for a pretty unhappy and probably depressing life.
However, what if you were to put a positive spin on these experiences? What if you were to be thankful for the experience, allowing it to guide you to a more positive place in your life. A place where you can truly see and acknowledge that what another person does or says is not against you, it is against them. It is who they are, not who you are. What if you used it as an opportunity to step up to yourself, to build on your own worth, and to know without a shadow of a doubt that it wasn’t personal. Wouldn’t that help ease the pain? Yes, it may still hurt and that’s okay. Just don’t let it take control of you. If someone chooses to live a dishonest life, it’s all on them. It is their “out of tune-ment” with their Inner Life which will eventually cause them all sorts of unwanted life experiences.
Now, should you find yourself wrapped up in relationships that only cause you pain and distrust, it can only mean one thing. You are still living in the past. You are still emitting negative energy that screams “I can’t trust anyone”! The more you focus on not being able to trust, the more people and things you can’t trust will come into your life experience. It’s the law of attraction and there is no way around it. What you put out, you get back, no questions asked. What you want to do is focus on the type of relationship you desire leaving the trust issues out of it. This will change the type of energy you are emitting and therefore attract positive and healthy relationships.
The twists and turns of trust are never in the Now. They are never in your present life experience because they are never and will never be a part of your Inner Life. The present moment is nothing but pure positive loving energy and your Inner Life is the present moment. So, when you find yourself, and you will from time to time, tangled up in the twists and turns of trust issues, hit pause, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and focus on the present moment. Feel the movement of your breath in and through your body…….you are here now, not there then. Take some time to observe where your thoughts are and then bring yourself back to your Inner Life focusing on the things you know will make you feel good. The more you practice living through your Inner Life versus your outer life, the faster your past experiences will fade, leaving your trust issues in the wind.
Love & Light,