The True Way of Forgiveness

15Although I would prefer to live a life completely filled with joy, happiness and peace, we all know it is nearly impossible.  We all know there will be life experiences that hurt us, make us angry, take us to our knees, or leave us completely torn and breathless.  Some of the most difficult experiences come from our relationships and learning forgiveness.  Just recently, a very wonderful and wise man in my life reminded me of the true way of forgiveness.

When a life experience calls for forgiveness, more than likely we have made it quite clear what this person did to hurt US.  More than likely we spoke without love, compassion or understanding.  More than likely we reacted with anger, hostility and even feelings of hatred.  More than likely we didn’t give the other person a fighting chance.  More than likely we never thought about their pain or why they did what they did.  We just know they did US wrong and now we want to punish them and hurt them the way they hurt us.

Prayer 01Forgiving someone is not only vital to our own well-being, but it is also vital to the other persons well-being, sense of self, and ability to move forward.  When people do wrong, we should forgive them, comfort them, show them love, and guide them in a more positive direction.  We shouldn’t punish them or rub it in their face day in and day out.  This will only create negativity, resentment and more than likely it will destroy the relationship. 

Many will disagree, but there is nothing in this world that is not forgivable if one takes the time to come to a deep understanding of where the other persons wrong came from.  A negative action always comes from a place of fear or pain.  It never comes from a place of love, joy or happiness.  Sometimes our wrongs even come from self-sabotage because we can’t find the love within ourselves to make the right choices or decisions.  Many times we are so wrapped up in our fear, pain and negativity that we lose all hope.

There are some who believe that forgiveness is the same as saying what was done is acceptable, but it has nothing to do with what is acceptable and what isn’t.  It is about truly loving yourself and another enough to move through it with love, understanding and compassion.  Where you want it to go from there is completely up to you.  We all make mistakes and we all want to be forgiven so don’t treat those you love in any other way except the way you would want to be treated if it were you. 

70The true way of forgiveness is in fact through your Inner Life.  It is in fact about love, not punishment.  When it’s all said and done, just let it go.  There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to carry it with you, for if you do, your life will turn in an unwanted direction and you could very easily lose a relationship that really wasn’t worth losing.  Open your heart and allow yourself the beauty and freedom of the true way of forgiveness.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be …

Love & Light,

Cindy Ortiz

The Gift of Self-Love

86To truly and fully love one’s self unconditionally is the greatest gift you can give not only to yourself but to others. When you live in and through love, you are living completely in tune with your Inner Life, the greater part of who you are. The love of self will radiate the pure nature of your true being.  It will, without effort, create life experiences that will bring you peace, appreciation, well-being, joy, happiness and abundance.

Every piece of our lives play out to the tune in which we created it ~ happy or unhappy ~ positive or negative ~ difficult or easy.  When you live in and through self-love, what do you think the outcome will be?  If you were able, and you are, to see and feel nothing but the love in you, about you, and around you, life would transform before your very eyes.  Feeding yourself love on a daily basis affects your body, mind and spirit bringing to you the natural flow of wellness, healing and positive energy.

The love of self does not always come easy especially for those who have difficulty appreciating and accepting their physical looks or forgiving themselves for their past mistakes. These two things alone can hinder one’s personal, mental and spiritual growth not to speak of creating a life that is filled with sadness, depression, dis-ease, guilt, regret, unhappiness and in some cases self-hatred.  For these and many more, they pay the consequences for the lack of self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self-love.  But it doesn’t have to be this way.  You always have a choice as to how you want to feel and how much love you want to give to yourself.  There is no one to blame but yourself.

371What most of us tend to forget is that we were created THROUGH LOVE and so WE ARE LOVE. This is a part of us that can NEVER be taken away.  It is the greater and most powerful part of who you really are!  You ARE and will ALWAYS be LOVE and LOVED – completely, wholly and unconditionally!

Starting the process of unconditional self-love can be daunting at first, but depending on where you are in your journey, it could come very naturally to you, just like riding a bike.  The first and most difficult thing I had to do was to come face to face with myself.  To take a long hard look at myself not only physically but also personally, mentally and spiritually.  I had to come to terms with the shape of my body and all of my past mistakes but once I made it over these hurdles, the rest fell easily and effortlessly into place.  You see, when you truly care about and love yourself the bad habits, unhealthy life styles, unfulfilling relationships, etc. slip away. They slip away because you know how they are going to make you feel and if they don’t make you feel anything by joy and happiness, why would you give them to yourself? 

FORGIVE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON!

ACCEPT AND APPRECIATE ALL OF WHO YOU ARE!

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!

PAMPER YOURSELF – YOU DESERVE IT!

LOVE YOURSELF INSIDE & OUT, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

283Truly caring for and loving yourself means making you and how you feel your #1 priority.  It means nurturing and caring for yourself as you would an infant.  It means giving to yourself, not just to others.  It means taking the time to appreciate who you are and how you look, knowing you are pure perfection.  When you make a mistake, and you will, take the time and effort to truly forgive yourself and allow yourself the freedom to move forward.  Self-love also means having self-compassion – be compassionate toward yourself instead of judgmental or critical.  Spend as much time as possible laughing and having fun!  Be patient and kind to yourself as we are all a work in progress.  Love yourself enough to be who you really want to be.  Follow your own heart.  Do what inspires you and enlightens you.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel alive and add to your experience, not take away from it.  Love yourself from the inside out.  If you create from love, it will never go wrong!  Most importantly, love yourself for exactly who you once were, who you are today, and who you are becoming!

139If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

Cindy K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

The Inner Life Journey

You Are Not Your Inner Demons

sadnessDo you live with inner demons? Is there something you did in the past that haunts you day in and day out?  Do these demons control your life and control who you are?  Well, they do not have to.  There is nothing in the past that can affect you unless YOU ALLOW it to.  There is nothing that can DEFINE who you really are OR who you want to be unless YOU ALLOW it to.

Too often we live with guilt and regret over things we have said and done.  We allow these feelings to control our entire lives.  We live with self-criticism and at times loath ourselves.  For some the guilt and pain of the past causes feelings of unworthiness.  This will cause you to push against anything or anyone good that comes into your life.  You will destroy happiness and love because you do not feel worthy of it.  There are others, who will engage in self-sabotaging behaviors such as addictions in an effort to numb their thoughts and feelings.  For many, it is a non-ending cycle of suffering because of the choice to hang onto the past.  Yes, hanging onto the past is YOUR choice.

At one time or another we have done something we consider to be wrong or bad.  Others have committed acts of violent crimes.  Regardless of what it was that you have done, if you HONESTLY want to move away from it, and out of your past, you must find a way to forgive yourself, for if you cannot find forgiveness in yourself, you will never be able to move forward or heal.

th (1)Forgiveness toward ourselves is not always easy because we have to look in the mirror and like what we see.  We have to see who we are, not the demons that live inside of us. We have to come to terms with that which we did but we also have to accept it and ACCEPT OURSELVES for the same.  Forgiving and accepting yourself does not make what you did “right” it just RELEASES you from the past so that you can start living in the present moment.  Once you are in the present moment, your feelings of guilt, regret, and unworthiness will start to disappear faster than you can imagine.  When you live in the NOW how can you be what you once did?  You can’t because what happened in the past is not happening right now.

For many, negative thinking habits get in the way of moving forward and of feeling better.  This is when learning how to control your thoughts and practicing positive thinking comes in handy.  Whenever you find yourself thinking a negative thought, immediately change it to something pleasant.  It does not matter what that thought is, as long as it makes YOU FEEL GOOD.  Hold onto that thought for at least a minute or two.  When you do this, you will feel a shift in your vibration creating another pleasant thought that will pop in your head. 

Meditation is also an extremely valuable “practice” because the “freeing of the mind” creates the connection to your Inner Life, which will release your mind of all its clutter, trash, and negativity. It will also increase your awareness of the present moment, release resistance, and reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.  It will promote relaxation, inner peace and enhance your own personal and spiritual growth.

03If you struggle with worthiness, do things for other people.  It does not matter what it is, how big or how small, but just helping someone else out will promote feelings of “goodness” inside yourself.  Sometimes it is easier for us to be kinder to others than to ourselves and in doing so, it makes US feel GOOD as well.

You have a choice to live with your demons or to let them go.  The only excuse you have are the ones you make yourself.

If you truly want to let go of your past and move forward, then DO what you KNOW you have to do. Just remember that every moment you have is a chance to make your life better or worse.  It does not matter if you did something wrong five minutes ago, it is now in the past, and you now have the choice to do it again or to be who you really want to be.  

You are not your inner demons or what you have done – you are who you choose to be.

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

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