Stop Living In Unhappiness

If you are aware that there is happiness and there is unhappiness, why are you still living in unhappiness? Are you putting your happiness in the hands of other things such as personal status, material possessions, or relationships? What happened in your life that caused you to become out of tune with your Inner Life, the greater part of who you really are, and therefore unhappy? This is a question that many of you will never be able to answer, but in reality it doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting back in tune with your Inner Life, how you feel NOW, and being truly happy again. What has happened and what may happen is not as important as what is happening NOW.

When you are totally honest with yourself you will know deep down it is never something or someone who causes your unhappiness. You will know it comes from within because you will feel like something is missing, like you have this huge hole inside you and nothing you put in it fits quite right. It is like trying to put the square peg in the round hole ~ you know it doesn’t fit but you keep forcing it until one day you wake up and realize IT DOES NOT FIT ~ I DO NOT FIT IN THIS UNHAPPY LIFE!

Frog 01

As we grow and move through life, it is all too common to become distant and distracted from our Inner Life. This is not a fault, it is just the way of the human experience. Within a very short period of time we are fixated on what our Outer Life has to offer instead of being focused on the truer part of who we are and what our Inner Life has to offer. Over time, if the distance and distractions from your Inner Life do not dissipate, you will eventually begin to feel it in a variety of ways. It could come in the form of uneasiness, feeling unsettled, anxiety, loneliness, weight gain or loss, addictions, self-inflicted pain, anger, hatred, illness, depression or chronic unhappiness. All of these “dis-eases” are a byproduct of your OUTER life and to the attachments you hold there. They have never been, nor will they ever be, a part of your Inner Life, of who you really are.

If your unhappiness is overpowering your happiness or depriving you of a joyful life experience, it is time to take a step back and evaluate your life ~ truthfully. This can be difficult for some because people fear admitting the truth will cause more pain, and at first it might, but once you have acknowledged that which is the true cause of your unhappiness, you can then begin to acknowledge and FOCUS on that which will create true and lasting happiness. It is at this point your life WILL change and you will gracefully move back in tune with your Inner Life.

Frog 02

The root cause of all unhappiness is being out of tune with your Inner Life and depending too much on your outer life to fulfill you. Piled high are all those outer life things that create your negative emotions. The problems, the broken relationships, the unsatisfying careers, the lack of money, material possessions or your unhealthy behaviors and choices. Once you have let go of your attachment to the outer life and turn your focus inward, to your Inner Life, you will naturally fall back in tune with it. You are never disconnected from it, but through this negative emotion you can easily and consistently become out of tune with it.

Your Outer Life is not at all a bad thing, for it is full of excitement and adventures. And letting go of your attachment to it doesn’t mean to stop wanting the things you will find there. It just means to stop relying on those things for true and lasting happiness because it will never be enough. When you focus first on what is within, making your Inner Life your foundation, your starting point for all that life has to offer, you will naturally be in balance with your Outer Life. What this means is that when what you want is planted, nurtured and born through your Inner Life first, it expands, grows and manifests into your Outer Life with its core being purity, well-being, peace, joy, love and happiness. But when you plant your dreams and desires in your outer life first, they are born with the need to attach yourself to something or someone with the belief it / they will make you happy. The foundation of such may as well be made out of sand. It may appear strong and sturdy, but eventually it will cave in.


Your transition into true and lasting happiness will in fact dissolve any emotional pain associated with your outer life. The things you feared the most won’t create as much upset as you may have thought they would. This is because when you are in tune with your Inner Life, when you are focused on being happy, your reactions and thoughts change with the desire of wanting to feel good. You will react in a more positive manner ~ one that will not affect your happiness the way it used to. You are now in control.

To get to happiness, you have to stop being in unhappiness. You know where you want to go, so stop being where you are. If your heart’s desire is to be truly happy, isn’t it time you are? The only one responsible for your happiness is you. Your feelings are controlled by your thoughts and your thoughts are controlled by you. You cannot blame your unhappiness on your partner, family, friends, work, world events, politics, lack of money or anything else that resides in your outer life. Just like everything else in this world we always have a choice. We have free will to choose how we feel. So why do so many people choose to feel and be unhappy? Because they believe true happiness comes from the people, places and things around us instead of within us.

(Writer’s Note: I realize there are extenuating circumstances in which someone’s living conditions or environment would not consciously allow them the choice to be happy, but for the purpose of this blog, I am speaking in general terms associated with common scenarios.)


Making happiness your number one priority changes how you feel, how you think, what you have and what you don’t have. It creates healthy relationships, satisfying careers, overall well-being, and yes, it even creates more money in the bank. But most importantly, it puts you back in tune with your Inner Life. What more could you ask for?

If true and lasting happiness is what you are seeking, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

Turning Bumps Into Stepping Stones

64“I’ve failed, but I’m strong enough to have been able to turn this experience around.  I’ve stumbled and faltered, but I’ve turned the bumps in my road into stepping-stones.” – Anonymous

Failure is only failure if you perceive it to be.  There is no failure when you turn the bumps in your road into stepping-stones.  A stepping stone is symbolic of a positive movement forward; a step in the right direction.  When you are able to embrace negative life experiences so much so that you see value in them; they lose power over you because the unwanted is now wanted. Without the unwanted your true desires would never be born.  You would never know where you want to go because you would still be where you are, swimming in a pool of negativity. 

65The power of the stepping-stone opens up the moment we choose to use our negative life experiences as stepping-stones, for it awakens one of the deepest parts of our Inner Life, who we really are.  It creates excitement, eagerness, anticipation and positive energy.  If you sit with it for just a spell, savoring the experience in the here and now, you will begin to feel the natural flow of positive energy move through your body.  You will begin to feel the essence of where you want to be.  What you do not want will slowly fade away because you will no longer be connected through your outer life, but through your Inner Life.

75If there are things going on in your life causing you fear, worry, pain or unhappiness, use the stepping-stone as your tool to pull yourself out of what you do not want and into what you do want.  

Visualize yourself moving forward toward all your dreams and desires.  Fear not of the next “stone” (step), but instead find the strength, wisdom, courage, faith and trust that lives inside you. You know it’s there.  We all know it’s there, we just don’t use it. You deserve to be happy no matter where you have been, what you have done, or who you once were.  

Take the next step ~ find the power that lies within the stepping-stone.  Do what you need to do, be who you want to be ~ live, love and laugh….one stepping-stone at a time!

Love & Light, 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

Leave Your Thinking Behind and Feel the Experience

51Think of the last time you went to the grocery store.  What did you buy, hear, smell, touch or possibly taste?  How did it make you feel?  If you are unable to recall most of these things, your mind was obviously clouded with thought.  It is time to leave your thinking behind and feel each and every experience. 

We get so caught up in our thoughts that we miss out on even the most routine experiences.  Some would say this does not matter, but it does matter.  Living a mindful life will enhance your sense of self, bringing you more joy, happiness, abundance and well-being. 

It is important for all of us to connect to the energy surrounding us.  This can very easily be done through our senses.  Our senses keep us right here, right now, whereas our thinking can take us to places we should not entertain.  When you hear something, you are hearing it now.  When you smell something, you smell it now.  When you taste something, you taste it now.  Wouldn’t it be grand to go through life living through the positive and powerful energy we create when we leave our thinking behind?  And you know what that will do, don’t you?  It will make all your dreams come true!

50When I began my mindful “practice”, I feared I would start to forget things because I was not thinking about them, but just the opposite happened.  I actually began remembering more because my mind was no longer cluttered with meaningless thoughts.  I thought what I needed to think and/or remember and it felt good!  It also created more time in my day because I was not being bogged down with incessant thinking.

Why don’t you give it try?  What do you have to lose?  Start with something simple.  For instance, the next time you prepare a meal, prepare and eat it mind-fully.  Put on some light music, light a few candles or some incense, and as you prepare your meal, be 100% in the moment ~ be one with your food.  Pay attention to how it feels, smells, and tastes, but most importantly, pay attention to how being mindful makes YOU feel!  One of the most surprising discoveries I made through mindful cooking and eating was that food actually had taste!  It was as if I was eating food for the first time in my life and in essence I was.

49Another great example is your cell phone.  I took notice a few weeks ago of how many people live with their heads down because they are constantly on their cell phones.  Whether it be walking, riding the bus, being a passenger in a car, sitting in your living room or eating at a restaurant, the majority of people have their heads down and cell phone in hand.  Imagine how many experiences are being missed because their thinking is cell phone based versus experience based.

Do yourself a favor and incorporate mindful living into your daily routine.  Leave your thinking behind and feel the experience!  Trust me, you will be HAPPY you did!

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach


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