The Habit of Complaining

690Most people don’t recognize complaining as a habit or even a behavior because for most it comes so naturally. A habit is something you do consciously or unconsciously on a regular basis.  Any habit, including complaining, can be changed if you truly have the desire to do so. Why would you want to change a habit such as complaining?  Because it produces negative energy, experiences, outcomes and/or manifestations. That which you put out, you get back. Not only that, but it also puts you out of tune with your Inner Life because you are creating negativity in your life.

If you are unsure whether or not you are an habitual complainer, pick any day of the week and consciously be aware of your words and thoughts. Keep a tally of how many times you voice or think a complaint.  If you complain one or more times a day, it is too much. It will keep the negative energy flowing into your life experience and that is not something you want.  

361The tool I used in changing my habit of complaining was to replace every complaint with a compliment.  The compliment does not have to be related to what the complaint is about, just get in a new habit of voicing or thinking compliments. For instance, let’s say someone gets on your nerves. Instead of complaining about them, offer them a compliment. Compliment their clothes, hair, nails, skills, abilities, knowledge, etc. You would be surprised at how quickly the feelings of them getting on your nerves dissipates. 

In a very short amount of time you will take notice of how much better you feel and how much better life feels to you just because of this one change.  If you find yourself complaining from time to time, don’t beat yourself up over it – it is a natural human reaction. Just don’t let it become a negative habit.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

Don’t Let Excuses Control Your Life

How often do you use your past as an excuse to justify your present life situation or your behavior? Do you use your past as an excuse to indulge in negative habits?  Do you use a failed relationship as an excuse not to trust anyone? If you are fully aware of where your excuses are coming from, you no longer have an excuse for making excuses!  It is time to take personal responsibility for your life. The only person making you and your life the way it is, is you.  Yes, you heard me correctly!  It’s all YOU!  You are the one who has the control in your life; not the past, not the future, and not anyone else.

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You make excuses because you are afraid to face the truth.  You are afraid to look in the mirror and admit where and who you are is because of the choices YOU made, no one else.  You make excuses to avoid the life that is right in front of you.  Believe it or not, the truth will set you free and it will put you back in tune with your Inner Life.  When you stop making excuses and starting taking personal responsibility you will begin to feel empowered.  You will start to feel a sense of freedom because all those excuses will no longer be holding you back.  You will be able to move forward in every area of your life.  Oddly enough, you will find there was nothing to fear.

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Living with excuses is the same as resisting all that life has to offer.  You are resisting what is and the present moment because you are too focused in the past or future.  If you use the pain of a past relationship as an excuse not to trust someone, you will only be hurting yourself.  You will find yourself avoiding relationships.  Is that really what you want?  What is important for you to know is that you always have a choice as to how you react and FEEL in regards to any experience.  You can choose to accept it for what it is and move on or you can choose to use it as an excuse and remain stuck.

Take some time to think about your life, where you are, and why you make the choices you do and then ask yourself these questions: Am I taking personal responsibility or making excuses?  How often do I find myself making excuses?  Am I blaming someone else for my current life situation? Am I living the life I want to live?  Am I moving forward or standing still? Am I truly happy?  What am I going to do about it?

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Nothing you have or do is because of anyone other than you! Once you come to the realization that YOU are the creator of your life and there is no need for excuses, you will begin to live a joyous and abundant life!  So, what is the first step you are committed to taking right now?

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be…… 

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

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Cutting Ties to Your Expectations

Have you ever asked yourself why you expect so much from others? Far too many people expect others to be, act or behave as they would but why. Does it make you feel better in the knowing that others are just like you? Does it make you feel like you are in control? Or does it come from how others in your life hold expectations of you? More than likely it comes from believing that your way is the right way or the only way, but we know that’s not true. NOW is the time to cut ties to your expectations, to stop worrying about everyone else, and start worrying about yourself.

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Of course it is reasonable to want others to treat you well and with respect. But then again, how can you have any expectations of others when everyone is different and especially when everyone is on their own unique path in THEIR life. Perhaps someone has not learned how to respect others because they were disrespected throughout their life. Or maybe someone grew up in a negative and hostile environment and doesn’t know how to be kind and loving. The only expectations there should be, are of yourself. When you expect only the best of and for yourself, only the best will show up in your life experience.

The one thing I believe we as humans forget is that we do not have to include anything or anyone in our lives if they do not make us feel good. How you choose to do things and live your life is totally about who YOU are. The way you do things is probably the “right” way in your mind, as it should be, because it is right for you. If people are not living the way you do or acting as you would, it doesn’t make them a bad person nor does it make their life “wrong”. They are being who THEY are the best they know how. Just because you want to share your candy doesn’t mean everyone else has to share theirs.

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When you are in tune with your Inner Life there are no expectations because those things don’t matter any longer. What matters is love, compassion, well-being, peace, joy and happiness. What matters is giving without expecting anything in return. What matters is being who you are while allowing others to be who they are. TODAY, allow yourself the gift of cutting ties to your expectations and see how calming and peaceful life becomes.

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If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be…… 

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach