Telling the Truth About Yourself to Yourself

75I know all too well from past experience what unhappiness feels like and how it can destroy not only your sense of peace and well-being but your health and life experiences.  I also know what true happiness feels like and how it enhances your sense of peace, well-being, improves your health and creates joyous life experiences. 

The hardest part for me, into my journey toward true happiness, was telling the truth about me.  Writing down who I was at that moment in time, how I felt about myself, and the things I was doing to create my miserably unhappy life.  This journaling process did in fact create some pain, but it was only temporary.  It was no worse than living the way I was living on a day-to-day basis.  I took the bad with the good because I knew in my heart the only way back to me was to face the person in the mirror. 

68I had avoided myself for nearly 20 years because I did not like who I was.  I was uncomfortable in my own skin and couldn’t stand a moment alone with myself.  I tried everything under the sun to feel better but when nothing worked, I knew the time had come.  I knew I had to face who I was before I could release who I had become.  This did NOT involve going back through my entire past dredging up all the things I had regret.  It involved sitting down with pen and paper and talking to myself in the present moment.  I wrote about how I felt at that moment, I wrote about the things I was doing or not doing that were causing me to be unhappy. I wrote about my self-sabotaging behaviors.  I even wrote about what was bringing me happiness so I would have something good and positive to focus on.  I questioned myself and my motives and before I knew it, I had pages and pages filled with words that not only brought me relief, but brought me clarity.  When I was done, the answers were all right there in front of me.  That was the end.  There was no going back.  I walked out of who I was not and right into the greater part of who I truly am. 

76As simple and easy as it may sound, I would be lying if I said the last 8 years have been completely filled with joy, because they have not.  I have had significant struggles just like everyone else, but once I chose happiness and began living through my Inner Life, my life completely changed.  Through practiced awareness, meditation, mindful living, and putting how I feel as my priority, I have been able to handle life with ease, and yes, true happiness.  I may feel frustrated or sad from time to time, but I am never unhappy! 

There were some residual setbacks at the start of my journey, but I did what I had to do. Only this time I was doing it with no resistance.  I was no longer fighting with myself or with life.  I had surrendered to who I was not.  I had conquered the demons inside me.  It was then I was able to begin to love myself and feel the happiness that resided inside me.  It felt like I was born again and given a clean slate.  The only thing I wanted was to be truly happy and I wasn’t going to stop until I had it and learned how to maintain it.  This was 8 years ago.  Today, as I write this to you, I am still Leaping Like A Frog – A Happy one that is!

63As you learn and practice your way into true happiness, you will be witness to some of the most magnificent and amazing moments life has to offer. Just about everything changes in a manner that brings you peace, well-being, abundance and true joy and happiness.  All those worries and woes cease to exist, health issues begin to improve, healing replaces pain, energy increases, positive thinking replaces negative thinking, money starts flowing in, and all those dreams and desires you have will begin to show themselves!  But, it doesn’t stop there.  Reaching this “level” of happiness will create a shift so great that nothing else will matter except for how you feel.  It is then that being unhappy will be nearly impossible because you will have had the sweet taste of true happiness and nothing will take you away from that!

66There is nothing to regret, feel guilty over, wish you had done differently or carry pain for.  Your transition into true and lasting happiness will in fact dissolve these feelings.  The things you feared the most won’t create as much pain or upset as you may have thought they would.  This is because when you are in tune with your Inner Life, when you are focused on being and feeling happy, your reactions and thoughts change with the desire of wanting to feel good.  You will react in a more positive manner, one that will not shatter your feelings of happiness.

Telling the truth about yourself to yourself and then making happiness your number one priority will change everything.  It changes how you feel, how you think, what you have and what you don’t have.  It creates healthy relationships, satisfying careers, and yes, it even creates more money in the bank.  It also puts you back in tune with your Inner Life, the greater part of who you are.  With this will come complete well-being.  What more could you ask for?

78Perhaps this is the time for you to look inside yourself and to be honest.  For you to tell the truth about yourself to yourself.  The truth as to what you are doing or not doing that is creating your unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life.  It is not life not giving you what you want, it is you not giving you what you want. 

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

Free Yourself From Regret

135Throughout our lives we will say and do things which will cause regret. These things may be said or done in the “heat of the moment” or while “temporarily suspended” from our Inner Life, who we really are.  The regret we feel may come instantly or it may come later after the realization of what we did hits us.  What makes it worse is when we not only hurt ourselves but when we hurt those we love.

Regret is a negative emotion that if held onto can cause even more pain and suffering then what you may already be experiencing.  It is also an emotion that could very easily control you.  If you live with the belief that you deserve the pain your regret has created, it will eventually eat you alive, gnawing away at you piece by piece until there is nothing left.  On the other hand, if you are willing to embrace yourself, your actions, and your regret in a positive light, allowing them to serve a higher purpose, you may just find a little treasure hidden within your regret.  A treasure that will reveal to you who you truly want to be and also, who you are not. 

817When a life experience creates the feeling of regret, it is also just a friendly reminder that you are out of tune with your Inner Life.  The best thing you can do to free yourself from regret is to remember it does not exist.  The experience is over and the feeling of regret is just that – a feeling – a feeling that can in fact be controlled by you.  You can choose to keep it in your present life experience or you can choose to let it go.  You are here now, not there then. 

There may be nothing you can do to change what was said or done, but taking personal responsibility for it will help in the healing process.  Owning up to our mistakes not only empowers us but it also helps to free ourselves from the regret and the pain we are experiencing.  There is no sense in holding onto something in the past especially when it can cause so much damage to ourselves and eventually to those around us. 

819When the regret you feel comes from hurting another, it is harder to let go of because you are not the only one hurting.  Your words and actions can cut like a knife leaving a small trail of blood in its path. Trying to look someone in the eye to say “I am sorry” while feeling worthless and humiliated by your own hand is a humbling experience to say the least. There is no guarantee they will find forgiveness in their heart for you, but you must find forgiveness in your own heart for yourself in order to heal.

Regardless of what caused your regret, you will always have a choice as to who you are going to be at any given moment in time.  You can choose the same behavior or you can choose to be who you really are.  Living through your Inner Life will always guide you in the right direction, freeing you from past and future regret.

 If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

 

What Is Your Happiness

694Like you, I search the internet for useful information.  One thing I have taken notice to is how many “steps” there are to achieving happiness or anything else for that matter. I don’t know about you, but if I were to try to follow 10 – 30 steps of anything I’d be exhausted before I even got started!  Now don’t get me wrong, the information may be useful but it is all too overwhelming especially for someone who is trying to overcome a struggle or achieve a specific goal. I do understand wanting to share what “works” especially when the advice comes from personal experience, but what about making it simple.

We try to get the people in our lives to follow in our footsteps because what worked for us will most definitely work for them!  I am guilty of this myself when it comes to family and friends.  I think to myself “if only they would just do what I do, everything would be fine”. But this is not always the case because everyone, even if they have the same desires, are on their own unique path, at their own rate of speed, so how you get there should be entirely up to YOU.  Of course you can seek guidance from others but I think it is important for each and every one of us to seek what we desire in a way we so choose.  In a way that makes US feel good.  In a way that adds to who WE really are.  The “way” does not matter as long as it brings you joy and happiness.

??????????????????????Life is not meant to be a struggle, it is meant to be joyous and fun so let’s make it that way!  Think about the things that will make your own personal journey through life meaningful, happy and satisfying. Think of it in terms of who YOU are, of what YOU want, and leave the rest behind.  You are the only one who can live your life so don’t you want to live it in your own way; making your own choices?  Just because a million people read a certain book that changed their lives, doesn’t mean you have to read that book, nor does it mean it is going to change your life.  There is certainly nothing wrong with trying new things, spending time with different types of people, or exploring what life has to offer.  This is how we “find” ourselves, through the people, places and things we choose.

The way I found my own happiness was by moving 3,000 miles away from everyone and everything I ever knew.  This may seem dramatic to some, but it was what I needed to do in order to figure out who I was and what I wanted out of life.  I was unable to do this with the influences I had around me so when the opportunity struck, I took it in a heartbeat. Was it worth it?  Yes!  It most definitely was and still is!  I re-connected to who I truly am by completely changing my life and feeling my way through each and every day. Now I only do what makes me feel good inside which has allowed me to see the treasures that lie within.  I still do things I would not normally choose to do, but I do them because someone else wants to do them, and in sharing that experience with them, it makes me feel good.

781Instead of trying to follow everyone else’s steps, make your own. Focus on what YOUR happiness is and where it comes from and then build your life around those things.  As long as you allow yourself to be who you truly are, everything else will fall naturally into place.  You won’t need steps or lists or advice.  Perhaps a little guidance from time to time, but once you tap into your Inner Life you will have all you need.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach