Are Your Beliefs Creating Heartache and Unhappiness

11I was thinking today about how powerful our beliefs can be.  They can control how we perceive other people and the world we live in, influence our future, and affect our every day lives.  Beliefs can take us higher, make us happier, work for us, and keep us in tune with our Inner Life.  But, they can also take us lower, make us unhappy, work against us, and keep us out of tune with our Inner Life.  Obviously it is beneficial to have a positive set of beliefs ~ but what if we don’t.  What if our beliefs are creating heartache and unhappiness. 

22Let’s take for instance a person who doesn’t believe they are worthy of a good life.  A person who believes they are “less than” with no hope in sight.  Can you imagine the struggle he or she must go through each and every day?  Waking up every morning with a feeling of dread for the day to come. Looking in the mirror and feeling nothing good for themselves.  Desperately trying to fit in somewhere, anywhere, seeking the approval of anyone who will give it to them.  Jumping from one relationship to another in an effort to find some sense of self and worthiness.  In time losing the ability to maintain a job, a home, and even worse ~ losing the ability to maintain overall well-being, balance and stability, all the while trying to be happy in a world that is completely painted with unworthiness.  A person who truly believes they are unworthy could have everything they want handed to them on a silver platter and yet find a way to destroy it all. 

Trust Your Gut Instincts

19We tend to forget how powerful our beliefs can be.  Once you think it, and start to believe it, your energy changes.  It changes to the point of then attaching itself to its own likeness. Meaning, you will start attracting what you believe – good or bad. In simple words, a belief is merely a thought you keep thinking, which in time becomes a part of who you choose to be, because you believe it to be true.  Whatever it is you believe, positive or negative, will in fact come true. All beliefs will in fact manifest into and become a part of your life and of you.  Any and all beliefs can be changed, but it is up to you to change them. 

20If you want to know whether or not your beliefs are creating heartache and unhappiness, take some time and think of all the areas of your life in which you feel dissatisfaction.  Now, ask yourself what your beliefs are surrounding this area of your life.  If you are not happy with your weight, do you BELIEVE you are fat and will never lose the weight? If you live pay check to pay check, do you BELIEVE you will never be wealthy?  If you have unhealthy relationships, do you BELIEVE you will never find the right person? If you are unhappy with your job, do you BELIEVE you can’t have the career you desire?  If you spent the last ten years of your life in prison, do you BELIEVE you will never have a normal life?  These are all very important areas of your life to look at and to determine if the cause of your dissatisfaction is from the beliefs you hold about them.  

32Once you determine which beliefs are creating heartache and unhappiness, all you have to do is change them. Begin by thinking the exact opposite even if you don’t feel it to be true.  Think it all through the day. Believe you are losing weight and slender, believe you have the ability to make more money, believe the perfect healthy relationship is right around the corner, believe you can excel in any career you so choose, believe you can have a happy and satisfying life after prison.  I promise you, in due time, if you keep thinking a new belief it will in fact come true.  It has no choice.  The now positive belief will attach itself to its own likeness and manifest right before your very eyes.  All you have to do is to BELIEVE!

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy

Trust Your Gut Instincts

06We have all heard the old saying “follow your gut”, but how often do you actually do it?  I recently learned a tough lesson by not following, or should I say not trusting my gut instincts.  It doesn’t necessary mean I made a mistake, for there was a lot of joy and happiness in this experience and lesson. However, there could have been a lot of pain and negativity avoided if I would have trusted my instincts. With every choice and every decision my gut knew, but I went against it anyways, always to land upside down. 

The question is ~ why did I go against my gut?  Perhaps I was a little naive, overwhelmed with moving to a new town, or maybe somewhere along the line I became out of tune with my Inner Life causing me to feel less than confident.  Regardless, I now know not to go against my instincts, at the same time only doing what feels good and makes me truly happy. 

818No matter where you are in your life, follow your gut.  It is your happiness that comes first. Make it a priority.  Do not allow anyone or anything come between YOU and YOU. Follow our gut through your journey of life, love, happiness, joy and abundance!  You will be happy you did. 

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy

This Was Then

01I laid on the edge of my bed like an infant, slightly quivering.  I could only feel my aching soul.  My pain began to seep out of my eyes.  I prayed to God to comfort me, to take me in His arms, to protect me, and to give me enough love that would change my life.  I knew I was gone. “It” had taken me from all those that loved me but I could not see.  I was blind to the outside world, I was numb to emotion.  I was in my own self-made prison.

My pain was so great from “it” that death began to intrigue me.  Laying on the nightstand was my way out.  The blade shimmering from the reflection of the light was pulling me closer.  I had done it before but I knew this time would be different.  I knew I would not stop the flow of blood and I knew there was not enough blood to end my suffering.

106You bleed all the time but no one sees it, only you can feel it.  You live in the depths of your own personal hell.  As the night closes in and the day fades away the gut wrenching pain runs through your veins like burning coals.  You feel no connection to anything or anyone ~ you are a stranger in your own body.  You feel nothing and yet you feel everything.  Your heart beats but you do not feel alive.  Life takes you down gripping and crying, down into the black hole of death.  You keep screaming and crying for something, but you don’t know what that something is.  The only thing you can think of is the bleeding inside ~ the emotional and physical pain.   You get down on your knees and pray to God to take you at the same time praying to God to save you.  You spin and spin, falling, tripping, losing yourself in every moment ~ a moment you wished did not exist.  The world as you know it blacks out ~ you cannot see anything yet your eyes are wide open.  The light blinds you.  You want to ask for help, but the words get trapped in your throat.  You try to speak but nothing comes out, yet inside you are still screaming at the top of your lungs “help me, please help me, somebody help me”.  You just want it out ~ you just want to bleed until there is nothing left.

48I spent a large part of my life in unhappiness which eventually grew into severe depression and addictions.  I knew in my heart there was much more to life than how I was living and feeling it, but I did not know how to get to where I wanted to be from where I was.  I did not know how to be happy again.  Looking back, I now see the one and only thing that kept me from the life I wanted to live was being out of tune with my Inner Life, the greater and more powerful part of who I truly am.

For me, and for countless numbers of others, it wasn’t until I hit bottom that I made the choice to entirely change my life.  I could not bear the emotional and physical pain any longer.  I just wanted to be happy so I chose life over death and from there I embarked on a journey within myself that has yielded joy, love, happiness and abundance.  When you make how you feel the most important thing in your life, everything changes.  It changes how you think, what you do or don’t do, what you have or don’t have.  It creates healthy relationships, satisfying careers, and yes, it even creates more money in the bank.  Most importantly, it puts you back in tune with your Inner Life, with complete well-being.  What more could you ask for?

34I remember all too well the days when it took everything I had to get through the next second of my life.  I was so far down in my deep dark hole that nothing, not friends, not love, not money, not even my son could pull me out.  All I wanted to do was die, but it was not because I did not want to live, it was because I wanted the pain to go away. To try to describe the pain is nearly impossible.  No words can describe the feelings and emotions that one feels while living in this state of mind.  I often refer to those years as the depths of hell.  I had no hope for anything and I did not believe I would ever be happy.  Hell, I did not even know what true happiness was.  Yes, there were periods of time when things were going well and I was enjoying life, but there was always something missing.  I could feel the emptiness inside. Many times it felt like a burning hole slowly eating me away.  I tried to fill it with people and things but eventually it would just empty out so I started filling myself up with drugs and alcohol, but again I was left with that gut wrenching feeling of despair, fear, and heartache.

I was asked one time by my therapist what I thought would help make me feel better.  My response was to pull my brains out so that I could no longer think.  My thoughts always had a tendency to send me spiraling downward because of how I was feeling about myself.  I grew up living with no self-esteem and lacked confidence since middle school.  I also never felt worthy of anything good, especially love. It took years and years of enduring pain, suicide attempts, cutting, self-sabotage, doctor visits, hospital visits, being on and off one medication or another before I hit bottom with a cocktail mixture of severe depression, alcohol, and drugs.  This was the end for me and just the beginning.  I was now engulfed with a burning desire for change and happiness.

30When the desire for lasting change and true happiness shows it’s beautiful and mighty face, it is time to take a leap of faith. Regardless of the circumstances that fuel your desire, the key to any level of change is to do it in a positive state of mind. The last thing you want to do is to hold onto anything negative or take it with you for that matter. And so the journey begins ….

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be. – Cindy Ortiz

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy