You Define You, Not the Past

728.jpgSome say the negative experiences of our past define who we are, but I am not sure if I believe this.  I am who I am because I choose to be.  Giving your past all the credit gives it power.  It holds you in a place that doesn’t always allow you to move forward.  It keeps you living in fear because you don’t ever want to go back to “those days” so you live in the confines of what you think will keep you safe from the past.  While at the same time you are also keeping yourself away from what life truly has to offer you.

Yes, there are things in my past I am not proud of or happy about but it is not those things telling me who to be.  I am being who I am because I want to be happy, healthy and abundant.  It makes me feel good to be a better, more loving and compassionate person, and to do what brings me joy.  My past did not define this, I did.  I was the one who made the decision of what kind of life I wanted and I am the only one responsible for it.

I know what you are probably thinking – you did a bad thing and it was that thing that made you want to change.  In reality nothing or no one can make you change except yourself.  The experience may have guided you in the decision to change, but it was all you.  It was you wanting to get back in tune with your Inner Life whether you were aware of it or not.

7061.jpgThere was a time when I indulged in negative and unhealthy behaviors and because I did not know any better I allowed them to define me.  I lived with a negative label of myself because I thought I had to in order to be healthy and happy.  I lived in fear that if I went to the wrong place or ran into the wrong people I would end up right back where I used to be.  I closed myself off from the world and moved 3,000 miles away from home just to protect myself from a past that did not exist anymore – a past that I allowed to define who I was.  But then one day I realized I held the golden key – the answer to any and all problems.  And that was feeling good through my Inner Life, not through my outer life.  All I had to do was get back in tune with the greater part of who I was and all the rest fell naturally into place.  There were no more negative labels and there was no more fear. 

719Once I let go of my outer life and allowed my Inner Life guide me, life completely changed.  I did not need anything other than myself to make me feel good.  Trust me when I say you don’t need anyone or anything in your outer life the way you think you need them.  They will all become an added bonus of pleasure and joy when they are “born” out of your Inner Life.  You are all you need to create a fulfilling, happy and abundant life.  Once you allow your Inner Life to guide you, and it will, and you will feel it, you will begin to fill with those unshakable feelings of peace, well-being, joy, happiness and love.  The greatest part of it all is that there will never been a negative past with your Inner Life.

Define who you are without the negativity of your past.  Live now, in the preciousness of each moment and see how quickly life starts working for you instead of against you.  Leave the past behind and know it’s all you – you couldn’t have done it without yourself!

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,


Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

The Habit of Complaining

690Most people don’t recognize complaining as a habit or even a behavior because for most it comes so naturally. A habit is something you do consciously or unconsciously on a regular basis.  Any habit, including complaining, can be changed if you truly have the desire to do so. Why would you want to change a habit such as complaining?  Because it produces negative energy, experiences, outcomes and/or manifestations. That which you put out, you get back. Not only that, but it also puts you out of tune with your Inner Life because you are creating negativity in your life.

If you are unsure whether or not you are an habitual complainer, pick any day of the week and consciously be aware of your words and thoughts. Keep a tally of how many times you voice or think a complaint.  If you complain one or more times a day, it is too much. It will keep the negative energy flowing into your life experience and that is not something you want.  

361The tool I used in changing my habit of complaining was to replace every complaint with a compliment.  The compliment does not have to be related to what the complaint is about, just get in a new habit of voicing or thinking compliments. For instance, let’s say someone gets on your nerves. Instead of complaining about them, offer them a compliment. Compliment their clothes, hair, nails, skills, abilities, knowledge, etc. You would be surprised at how quickly the feelings of them getting on your nerves dissipates. 

In a very short amount of time you will take notice of how much better you feel and how much better life feels to you just because of this one change.  If you find yourself complaining from time to time, don’t beat yourself up over it – it is a natural human reaction. Just don’t let it become a negative habit.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

Don’t Let Excuses Control Your Life

How often do you use your past as an excuse to justify your present life situation or your behavior? Do you use your past as an excuse to indulge in negative habits?  Do you use a failed relationship as an excuse not to trust anyone? If you are fully aware of where your excuses are coming from, you no longer have an excuse for making excuses!  It is time to take personal responsibility for your life. The only person making you and your life the way it is, is you.  Yes, you heard me correctly!  It’s all YOU!  You are the one who has the control in your life; not the past, not the future, and not anyone else.


You make excuses because you are afraid to face the truth.  You are afraid to look in the mirror and admit where and who you are is because of the choices YOU made, no one else.  You make excuses to avoid the life that is right in front of you.  Believe it or not, the truth will set you free and it will put you back in tune with your Inner Life.  When you stop making excuses and starting taking personal responsibility you will begin to feel empowered.  You will start to feel a sense of freedom because all those excuses will no longer be holding you back.  You will be able to move forward in every area of your life.  Oddly enough, you will find there was nothing to fear.


Living with excuses is the same as resisting all that life has to offer.  You are resisting what is and the present moment because you are too focused in the past or future.  If you use the pain of a past relationship as an excuse not to trust someone, you will only be hurting yourself.  You will find yourself avoiding relationships.  Is that really what you want?  What is important for you to know is that you always have a choice as to how you react and FEEL in regards to any experience.  You can choose to accept it for what it is and move on or you can choose to use it as an excuse and remain stuck.

Take some time to think about your life, where you are, and why you make the choices you do and then ask yourself these questions: Am I taking personal responsibility or making excuses?  How often do I find myself making excuses?  Am I blaming someone else for my current life situation? Am I living the life I want to live?  Am I moving forward or standing still? Am I truly happy?  What am I going to do about it?


Nothing you have or do is because of anyone other than you! Once you come to the realization that YOU are the creator of your life and there is no need for excuses, you will begin to live a joyous and abundant life!  So, what is the first step you are committed to taking right now?

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be…… 

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach


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