Free Yourself From Regret

135Throughout our lives we will say and do things which will cause regret. These things may be said or done in the “heat of the moment” or while “temporarily suspended” from our Inner Life, who we really are.  The regret we feel may come instantly or it may come later after the realization of what we did hits us.  What makes it worse is when we not only hurt ourselves but when we hurt those we love.

Regret is a negative emotion that if held onto can cause even more pain and suffering then what you may already be experiencing.  It is also an emotion that could very easily control you.  If you live with the belief that you deserve the pain your regret has created, it will eventually eat you alive, gnawing away at you piece by piece until there is nothing left.  On the other hand, if you are willing to embrace yourself, your actions, and your regret in a positive light, allowing them to serve a higher purpose, you may just find a little treasure hidden within your regret.  A treasure that will reveal to you who you truly want to be and also, who you are not. 

817When a life experience creates the feeling of regret, it is also just a friendly reminder that you are out of tune with your Inner Life.  The best thing you can do to free yourself from regret is to remember it does not exist.  The experience is over and the feeling of regret is just that – a feeling – a feeling that can in fact be controlled by you.  You can choose to keep it in your present life experience or you can choose to let it go.  You are here now, not there then. 

There may be nothing you can do to change what was said or done, but taking personal responsibility for it will help in the healing process.  Owning up to our mistakes not only empowers us but it also helps to free ourselves from the regret and the pain we are experiencing.  There is no sense in holding onto something in the past especially when it can cause so much damage to ourselves and eventually to those around us. 

819When the regret you feel comes from hurting another, it is harder to let go of because you are not the only one hurting.  Your words and actions can cut like a knife leaving a small trail of blood in its path. Trying to look someone in the eye to say “I am sorry” while feeling worthless and humiliated by your own hand is a humbling experience to say the least. There is no guarantee they will find forgiveness in their heart for you, but you must find forgiveness in your own heart for yourself in order to heal.

Regardless of what caused your regret, you will always have a choice as to who you are going to be at any given moment in time.  You can choose the same behavior or you can choose to be who you really are.  Living through your Inner Life will always guide you in the right direction, freeing you from past and future regret.

 If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

 

 

Second Chances

605There may come a time in your life when you are “offered” a second chance.  A chance to become who you are truly meant to be.  Through whatever means this second chance has come into your life, start from where you are.  There is no need to go back and rehash what was done right or wrong or how you ended up where you are.  There is also no need to start worrying about the future; as to whether or not things will work out or get better. 

Too often we impair ourselves by believing we need to “clean up” the past, but this will only hinder where you want to go.  When you go back in time it pulls you away from your Inner Life, from who you really are, from the present moment.  It causes unnecessary pain because you remember how and why you lost your way in the first place.  If you stay focused on “what was” instead of “what is” it will slowly drain you of your happiness and self-worth.  

Second chances are not about righting your wrongs or proving your worth; they are about you and only you on a very deep and personal level.  They are about you becoming who you really are by YOUR choice, not through the circumstances of your outer life or other people.  This in itself will alleviate and fade out any pain and/or destruction that was created before this moment.

87If a second chance is really what you want and desire then allow your heart to lead the way.  Live within the boundaries of your Inner Life and trust your instincts.  You will know which way to go and what words to speak.  You will know what feels good and what doesn’t feel good.  And you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all is well and all will be well.

All that really matters from this point forward is who you choose to be and how you choose to live your life.  You do not have to prove anything to anyone but instead love with all your heart and allow your Inner Life carry you to where you want to be.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….

Love & Light,

 

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

Cutting Ties to Your Expectations

Have you ever asked yourself why you expect so much from others? Far too many people expect others to be, act or behave as they would but why. Does it make you feel better in the knowing that others are just like you? Does it make you feel like you are in control? Or does it come from how others in your life hold expectations of you? More than likely it comes from believing that your way is the right way or the only way, but we know that’s not true. NOW is the time to cut ties to your expectations, to stop worrying about everyone else, and start worrying about yourself.

157

Of course it is reasonable to want others to treat you well and with respect. But then again, how can you have any expectations of others when everyone is different and especially when everyone is on their own unique path in THEIR life. Perhaps someone has not learned how to respect others because they were disrespected throughout their life. Or maybe someone grew up in a negative and hostile environment and doesn’t know how to be kind and loving. The only expectations there should be, are of yourself. When you expect only the best of and for yourself, only the best will show up in your life experience.

The one thing I believe we as humans forget is that we do not have to include anything or anyone in our lives if they do not make us feel good. How you choose to do things and live your life is totally about who YOU are. The way you do things is probably the “right” way in your mind, as it should be, because it is right for you. If people are not living the way you do or acting as you would, it doesn’t make them a bad person nor does it make their life “wrong”. They are being who THEY are the best they know how. Just because you want to share your candy doesn’t mean everyone else has to share theirs.

152

When you are in tune with your Inner Life there are no expectations because those things don’t matter any longer. What matters is love, compassion, well-being, peace, joy and happiness. What matters is giving without expecting anything in return. What matters is being who you are while allowing others to be who they are. TODAY, allow yourself the gift of cutting ties to your expectations and see how calming and peaceful life becomes.

22

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be…… 

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach