Own it!

Someone recently said to me, very sternly I may add, as I was expressing feelings of guilt over a choice I made 9 years ago, “JUST OWN IT!”. She told me to own the fact that I not only did what was best for me, but I did what I had to do in order to save myself ~ end of story.  And just like that the guilt was gone.

I don’t know why it took so many years, but the moment I heard those words something inside of me changed.  I became free.  Not only from the guilt I had been holding onto, but also from disappointment, shame and regret playing faintly in the background of my life.  I couldn’t believe how easy it was ~ in an instant all those negative feelings were gone.  I was overwhelmed with relief and a sense of stillness I have not felt in quite some time.  

Although it was instantly clear, I didn’t realize I was holding onto a person who no longer existed.  Perhaps I just needed to grow into who I am today before I could let her go.  Perhaps I needed to come full circle with all of it, including myself.  Regardless, owning my choice gave me the power to let go of the guilt.  There was nothing left to fight.

Taking ownership of anything gives us control over it, which in turn gives us personal power.  When we hold onto negative feelings such as guilt, shame, disappointment or regret, we give them power because to some degree they control us.  They control how we feel and how we live our lives.  They can also leave us feeling powerless because we cannot go back and change what caused these feelings.   

Now, looking back, it was as though I was  “renting” those negative feelings because I continued to pay for them on one level or another.  I do believe, now that I can see the bigger picture, that NOT taking ownership of our choices and mistakes leaves us in limbo.  If you do not fully embrace and own the things you have said and done, how will you ever be able to let them go and move forward.   You will remain stuck in who you were instead of stepping into who you are becoming.

I Am Battle Worn

I have, over the last few weeks, gone back through my memory bank and taken ownership of all the things I’ve tried to bury.  And do you know what I have been left with?  I have been left with an undeniable feeling of peace and pureness.  This new “ownership process” has completely cleansed my mind, my heart, my spirit and my body.   I am more in tune with my Inner Life and I am living a more joyous life.  I have a lot to be proud of but I couldn’t see those things as much as I could see what I did “wrong”.  I have lived an amazing life even with all the chaos, challenges and struggles, but I am still smiling and shining brighter than I ever have!

Take some time my friends and think about your life.  Are you truly happy?  Are you living a joyous existence?  Are you happy with yourself inside and out?  Are you free and clear of the past or do you carry a bag full of regrets, mistakes, shame, guilt, disappointment?  Do you want to be free and feel proud of who you are and where you are?  Who cares how you came to be where you are ~ you are here now and you have the power to do, be and have everything you want!  So I say to you, OWN IT!  Make it yours!  Love yourself for it and let it go!  Be free my friends, be free!

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be. – Cindy Ortiz

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy

 

It’s Good To Be Back

Last year was by far the worst year of my life!  I was in a total fog, not able to get in touch with myself.  I knew I was here and yet I was gone.  I couldn’t get a grasp of what was going on in and around me.  I was in a downward tailspin desperately trying to hold on.  I just kept sinking.  I knew which way was up but I was afraid.  I was afraid of expressing my grief and heartache because I didn’t want to feel it anymore than what I already was.  I was afraid to express my unhappiness and disillusions.  I was even afraid to reach out for help, support and guidance.  I felt so alone.  I even lost touch with my Inner Life and I lost my faith.  I was no longer taking a fearless leap of faith toward true happiness but instead I was falling with fear, sadness, and anger.  I was so angry at myself for allowing my feelings and emotions to get as far as they did.  

When it got to the point where I had enough of feeling this way, a miracle occurred.  I opened my eyes and allowed the truth.  I was able to see everything so clearly that it actually made me physically sick and yet at the same time I was filled with an overwhelming amount of relief and sense of peace.  I could actually breathe again. I took the next three months in stride, putting myself and my life back together, still swaying from time to time, but holding strong.  I took back control and did what I had to do in order to live the life I want and feel the way I should feel.  It didn’t have to be this way though.  Not because I knew better, but because I am in control of how I feel no matter what the circumstances.  I allowed too many things consume me and nearly eat me alive.  Instead of expressing, I crumbled.  

I can honestly say, it will never happen again.  My happiness, my state of mind, and my well-being are the most important things to me, as it should be.  If I am not good for myself, how am I supposed to be any good for anyone else.  As much as I suffered through the year, I now embrace it with great love and understanding.  It didn’t define me, but it did allow me to grow and to learn more about myself and others, some good, some not so good.  I am finally back to feeling like Cindy again and oh what a joyful feeling that is!  I sure did miss me! 

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be. – Cindy Ortiz

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy

Only You Know Why

86-1Sometimes we lose our way.  Sometimes we revert back to old negative patterns of behavior.  Why?  Only you know why.  At first you may not even realize it.  You may chalk it up to a bad day.  But before you know it, that bad day is now a bad month(s) or a bad year(s).  Then one day you wake up with that god awful feeling in the pit of your stomach.  You wake up seeing the truth ~ you have no clue who you are anymore.  You are destroying your life.  You lay there wondering how you got to where you are.  You wonder what happened to you.  You ask yourself, where did I go?  Where did I lose my way?  Where did I become so out of tune with my Inner Life that I allowed this to happen? Rest assured, you can change all of this.  All it takes is the will and determination to do so.

Taking Complete Responsibility for Your Life Changes Your Life

76-2Life may seem daunting to you right now, but let’s look at the bright side.  Yes, there is a bright side.  Through your awareness of where you are and where you want to be, you can now begin to build or re-build the life you so desire. There may be unwanted consequences along the way, but the most important thing for you to remember and focus on is where you want to be.  It doesn’t matter where anyone else is, this is completely about you.  Taking ownership of your life, your mistakes and/or your regrets will change everything, but you have to allow the change.  You have to want to change for your own personal well-being and happiness.  No one can do it for you.  Living in the past or holding onto what you once had will only hinder your growth, slow your progress forward, and keep you out of tune with your Inner Life.

Every Choice You Make Has An Outcome

27-2Regardless of where you are, be here now, be present in this time.  It is vital for this to be solely about you.  You have to be your #1 priority and you have to be honest with yourself.  It is time to stand strong and take the first step toward personal freedom.  Free yourself from all the negativity and pain.  Yes, I know you are hurting, but you can do this.  You know what you need to do.  You know where to go if you need help or guidance.  There is nothing to be afraid of.  True happiness, joy, peace, well-being, abundance and love are all waiting for you.  

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be. – Cindy Ortiz

Live, Love & Breathe Life

Love & Light,

Cindy