A Happy Life Starts With You

616A happy life starts with you, just as an unhappy life starts with you ~ no one else, just you.  You are the one who controls how you feel about anything and everything, which in turn controls how life is going to feel to you.  Let’s say you are having a bad day.  From the moment your feet hit the floor nothing seems to go the way you want it to.  You are faced with one unwanted situation after another and before you know it you are caught up in a tunnel of frustration, irritation, stress, anxiety, negativity and maybe even anger. 

If you keep living and re-living where you don’t want to be you will make it more difficult to get to where you do want to be.  Before you know it, days, weeks, if not months or years have passed and you are still carrying around the unwanted as if it were your best friend.  But remember, you always have a choice.  You can choose to be happy no matter what, or you can choose to be unhappy and miserable.  The longer you hold onto the unwanted, the worse you are going to feel.  You can continue to allow life’s unwanted “annoyances” get you down or you can change your thoughts and attitude about them.

617We are always going to be faced with unwanted things because it is the natural cycle of life.  To know darkness you have to know light.  To know what you want you have to know what you don’t want.  However, the degree, intensity, and time you experience it is totally up to you.  You can allow it to change your life for the worse or you can allow it to open up many more wonderful possibilities.

The last thing you want to do is to fight against the unwanted.  And yes, sometimes it is easier said than done but what you have to ask yourself, even in the midst of chaos, is how you want to feel.  Do you want this thing that is causing you to feel less than joyful and happy, perhaps even stressed, worried, or full of fear, have control of you? Do you want this thing to be the decision maker in how your life is going to turn out?  No, of course you don’t.  So what are you going to do about it?  You are going to embrace it for what it is, let go of your attachment to what was, do what you have to do, and keep moving forward with a positive and optimistic attitude.  The world is your oyster if you allow it to be.

09Another thing to think about is this ~ why do we allow what we don’t like affect us in a negative way ~ meaning, why do we choose to be unhappy when we know it is our happiness and joy that is going to carry us to where we want to be!  Feeling good is the golden key to the Universe.  It is the key to all your dreams and desires.  Take it from someone who knows.  I spent the good portion of 20 years being unhappy but when I made the decision to live through my Inner Life and be happy no matter what, my life changed for the better.  And the amazing part of it, is that it keeps getting better and better.  You will grow, expand, get what you want, and become a deliberate creator….if you would just give to yourself first.  Don’t sit around waiting for something or someone to make  you feel better, just feel better ~ be happy ~ be joyful ~ be loving ~ be kind~ be playful ~ be excited ~ just for the sake of being happy, joyful, loving, kind, playful and excited!  The more you feel good the faster things are going to change.  It is not directly what you do that is going to change things, it is HOW YOU FEEL!  The Universe “reads” your vibration, so whatever you are putting out, you are going to get back, no questions asked!  A happy life starts with you!

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

Living Your Life Happily Ever After – You Are the Priority

43A part of living your life happily ever after means taking care of yourself first and making how you feel a priority.  This does not make you selfish, it makes you healthy and happy. 

I’ve been surprised over the years at the number of people who live their lives through what others want, need and expect from them, not to speak of what they think someone wants, needs or expects.  They feel an innate obligation to do for others in a way that ends up stealing their own happiness.  There is certainly nothing wrong with caring for and helping others out, but it has to be on your terms ~ on how it is going to make you feel at the time.  It has to come from your Inner Life, not from the expectations of your outer life.

The common response as to why people do this is because somewhere inside them they feel it is the “right” thing to do for whatever reason.  But I have to ask, who is it right for?  Is it right for you if it causes you to feel any type of negative emotion particularly resentment or anger?  Is it right for the other person when it creates a dependency on you and hinders their growth to take responsibility for their own happiness and well-being? 

38The feelings of it being the right thing to do, your responsibility or obligation all come from a place of fear.  Fear that if you don’t do what someone wants, needs or expects from you, something bad will happen to them.  However, you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness or well-being.  If something “bad” happens it is purely because of what they are attracting into their lives which has nothing at all to do with you.

When we live through our Inner Life it produces genuine love, kindness and positive energy.  It is through this love, kindness and positive energy you will always know what is best for you.  There will never be doubt in the taking care of or guilt in the not taking care of another.  You will give and help lovingly because it comes from a place of love versus guilt, obligation or fear.

In reality, this is not about anyone but you.  It is only about taking care of yourself first and how you feel.  When you feel good you are in tune with your Inner Life.  When you are in tune with your Inner Life, life flows easily and effortlessly.  Meaning, life will sort itself out including those who do not truly appreciate your loving kindness and only feel as if you owe them something.

If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within.  Live, breathe and be your Inner Life.  Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach

Resistance Creates Unhappiness

86The mind can create unhappiness through the thoughts it thinks. If you didn’t think, you wouldn’t have unhappiness because you wouldn’t be thinking of those things that cause you to feel unhappy. Thoughts are what you think, not who you are. Resistance of what is, is your mind gone crazy because you are constantly thinking outside the present moment.

This unhappiness is initiated through your resistance to what you don’t want, so essentially you are fighting against an unwanted life experience. You think fighting against it will make it go away but it does just the opposite. Your resistance to that which you do not want will actually make it worse because resistance only creates negativity. If you were experiencing something you did want, there would be no resistance and therefore no negativity.

Resistance not only closes you off from the natural flow of life, but it causes you to be out of tune with your Inner Life, who you really are. In time, you will sense an imbalance in your physical, mental and spiritual health. The greater your resistance, the greater your imbalance, and therefore the greater your unhappiness.

77Resistance of the unwanted, being closed off from the natural flow of life, is the same as living outside the present moment. Many people fear and avoid the present moment because they believe all those unwanted things are in the present moment, but I assure you they are not. Living in the present moment does not magnify, intensify or multiply the unwanted, it dissolves it completely. Never will you find unhappiness in the present moment.

Why won’t you find unhappiness in the present moment? Unhappiness is only associated with your outer life, your past and/or your future. When you focus yourself into the present moment, allowing yourself to feel and live the fullness of who you really are, the things causing you to feel unhappy do not exist because they are not a part of your present moment experience. They are not a part of who you really are; of your Inner Life. Everything that happens, happens Now. Once it has happened it is no longer “active” unless you keep it active.

75I am certainly not saying you won’t ever experience sadness to some degree, but it won’t control you or your life. There will always be unwanted situations that will need your attention. This is a normal and unavoidable part of life. When the time comes to deal with it, do it mindfully and be fully present in doing so. This will keep you away from unnecessary worry, stress, anxiety and emotional pain. If there is something you need to come to terms with, particularly something that is unexpected ~ accept it, embrace it, and keep moving forward. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in something that is no longer a part of your true life experience. Playing it over and over again in your mind keeps you continually going through it. This in itself prolongs your emotional pain and significantly slows down the natural flow of your life because you are then fighting against what is.

In reality, the pain you are suffering from being unhappy is just an illusion created by the mind. It is not “real” because pain and unhappiness are not a part of who you really are. They don’t exist in your Inner life and they don’t exist in the present moment. Your Inner Life and the Present Moment are one in the same. They are states of Being, not a state of mind. However, because many of us allow our minds to control our emotions and our lives, we live with being unhappy.

64Accepting life and your life situation as it is does not mean staying where you are. It means accepting what is, as it is, in this moment. It means to stop fighting against what it is you don’t like or don’t want and go with the natural flow of what life is offering you. If you are not happy with what is, take the necessary steps to change it. The natural flow of life will always consist of contrast; those things we don’t want or like, but the amount of time we spend in the contrast is entirely up to us.

Living in the present moment and without resistance means to be in control of your mind. Pay attention to what you are thinking and where those thoughts take you. Look out for triggers that may send you leaping into the past or future. The moment a negative emotion arises you know your mind is trying to take you out of the Now. The easiest way to re-focus is to become aware of where you are right now through Inner Life breathing (Inner Life Breathing – Live, Love & Breathe Life). Pull yourself back into your body so to speak, leaving the mind behind. The more you empty your mind, the more peace, joy, well-being and love will become your life experience.

Letting go of what was or what could be for what is will free you completely. It allows you to stay focused in the present moment releasing you from the bonds of any moment that is not this moment. This in itself will relieve your emotional pain, resistance and unhappiness.

Love & Light,

Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach