If you are aware that there is happiness and there is unhappiness, why are you still living in unhappiness? Are you putting your happiness in the hands of other things such as personal status, material possessions, or relationships? What happened in your life that caused you to become out of tune with your Inner Life, the greater part of who you really are, and therefore unhappy? This is a question that many of you will never be able to answer, but in reality it doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting back in tune with your Inner Life, how you feel NOW, and being truly happy again. What has happened and what may happen is not as important as what is happening NOW.
When you are totally honest with yourself you will know deep down it is never something or someone who causes your unhappiness. You will know it comes from within because you will feel like something is missing, like you have this huge hole inside you and nothing you put in it fits quite right. It is like trying to put the square peg in the round hole ~ you know it doesn’t fit but you keep forcing it until one day you wake up and realize IT DOES NOT FIT ~ I DO NOT FIT IN THIS UNHAPPY LIFE!
As we grow and move through life, it is all too common to become distant and distracted from our Inner Life. This is not a fault, it is just the way of the human experience. Within a very short period of time we are fixated on what our Outer Life has to offer instead of being focused on the truer part of who we are and what our Inner Life has to offer. Over time, if the distance and distractions from your Inner Life do not dissipate, you will eventually begin to feel it in a variety of ways. It could come in the form of uneasiness, feeling unsettled, anxiety, loneliness, weight gain or loss, addictions, self-inflicted pain, anger, hatred, illness, depression or chronic unhappiness. All of these “dis-eases” are a byproduct of your OUTER life and to the attachments you hold there. They have never been, nor will they ever be, a part of your Inner Life, of who you really are.
If your unhappiness is overpowering your happiness or depriving you of a joyful life experience, it is time to take a step back and evaluate your life ~ truthfully. This can be difficult for some because people fear admitting the truth will cause more pain, and at first it might, but once you have acknowledged that which is the true cause of your unhappiness, you can then begin to acknowledge and FOCUS on that which will create true and lasting happiness. It is at this point your life WILL change and you will gracefully move back in tune with your Inner Life.
The root cause of all unhappiness is being out of tune with your Inner Life and depending too much on your outer life to fulfill you. Piled high are all those outer life things that create your negative emotions. The problems, the broken relationships, the unsatisfying careers, the lack of money, material possessions or your unhealthy behaviors and choices. Once you have let go of your attachment to the outer life and turn your focus inward, to your Inner Life, you will naturally fall back in tune with it. You are never disconnected from it, but through this negative emotion you can easily and consistently become out of tune with it.
Your Outer Life is not at all a bad thing, for it is full of excitement and adventures. And letting go of your attachment to it doesn’t mean to stop wanting the things you will find there. It just means to stop relying on those things for true and lasting happiness because it will never be enough. When you focus first on what is within, making your Inner Life your foundation, your starting point for all that life has to offer, you will naturally be in balance with your Outer Life. What this means is that when what you want is planted, nurtured and born through your Inner Life first, it expands, grows and manifests into your Outer Life with its core being purity, well-being, peace, joy, love and happiness. But when you plant your dreams and desires in your outer life first, they are born with the need to attach yourself to something or someone with the belief it / they will make you happy. The foundation of such may as well be made out of sand. It may appear strong and sturdy, but eventually it will cave in.
Your transition into true and lasting happiness will in fact dissolve any emotional pain associated with your outer life. The things you feared the most won’t create as much upset as you may have thought they would. This is because when you are in tune with your Inner Life, when you are focused on being happy, your reactions and thoughts change with the desire of wanting to feel good. You will react in a more positive manner ~ one that will not affect your happiness the way it used to. You are now in control.
To get to happiness, you have to stop being in unhappiness. You know where you want to go, so stop being where you are. If your heart’s desire is to be truly happy, isn’t it time you are? The only one responsible for your happiness is you. Your feelings are controlled by your thoughts and your thoughts are controlled by you. You cannot blame your unhappiness on your partner, family, friends, work, world events, politics, lack of money or anything else that resides in your outer life. Just like everything else in this world we always have a choice. We have free will to choose how we feel. So why do so many people choose to feel and be unhappy? Because they believe true happiness comes from the people, places and things around us instead of within us.
(Writer’s Note: I realize there are extenuating circumstances in which someone’s living conditions or environment would not consciously allow them the choice to be happy, but for the purpose of this blog, I am speaking in general terms associated with common scenarios.)
Making happiness your number one priority changes how you feel, how you think, what you have and what you don’t have. It creates healthy relationships, satisfying careers, overall well-being, and yes, it even creates more money in the bank. But most importantly, it puts you back in tune with your Inner Life. What more could you ask for?
If true and lasting happiness is what you are seeking, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment, and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be……
Love & Light,
Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach