Throughout our lives we will say and do things which will cause regret. These things may be said or done in the “heat of the moment” or while “temporarily suspended” from our Inner Life, who we really are. The regret we feel may come instantly or it may come later after the realization of what we did hits us. What makes it worse is when we not only hurt ourselves but when we hurt those we love.
Regret is a negative emotion that if held onto can cause even more pain and suffering then what you may already be experiencing. It is also an emotion that could very easily control you. If you live with the belief that you deserve the pain your regret has created, it will eventually eat you alive, gnawing away at you piece by piece until there is nothing left. On the other hand, if you are willing to embrace yourself, your actions, and your regret in a positive light, allowing them to serve a higher purpose, you may just find a little treasure hidden within your regret. A treasure that will reveal to you who you truly want to be and also, who you are not.
When a life experience creates the feeling of regret, it is also just a friendly reminder that you are out of tune with your Inner Life. The best thing you can do to free yourself from regret is to remember it does not exist. The experience is over and the feeling of regret is just that – a feeling – a feeling that can in fact be controlled by you. You can choose to keep it in your present life experience or you can choose to let it go. You are here now, not there then.
There may be nothing you can do to change what was said or done, but taking personal responsibility for it will help in the healing process. Owning up to our mistakes not only empowers us but it also helps to free ourselves from the regret and the pain we are experiencing. There is no sense in holding onto something in the past especially when it can cause so much damage to ourselves and eventually to those around us.
When the regret you feel comes from hurting another, it is harder to let go of because you are not the only one hurting. Your words and actions can cut like a knife leaving a small trail of blood in its path. Trying to look someone in the eye to say “I am sorry” while feeling worthless and humiliated by your own hand is a humbling experience to say the least. There is no guarantee they will find forgiveness in their heart for you, but you must find forgiveness in your own heart for yourself in order to heal.
Regardless of what caused your regret, you will always have a choice as to who you are going to be at any given moment in time. You can choose the same behavior or you can choose to be who you really are. Living through your Inner Life will always guide you in the right direction, freeing you from past and future regret.
If true and lasting happiness is what you seek, seek first from within. Live, breathe and be your Inner Life. Quiet your mind, focus solely on the present moment and allow the power of your Inner Life guide you to where you want to be ….
Love & Light,
Cynthia K Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach