It is when we truly know who we are and know our worth that we can stand on our own. We no longer need the people who cause us pain. The hurtful words and actions of others go through us instead of knocking us down. For me, they filter through my Inner Life and become purified into love. Love toward the one who is still suffering.
The one’s who suffer are the ones who hurt us the most. They say they love us and yet at the same time they aim their spears at us. Spears filled with THEIR inner pain masked as hurtful words and actions. When the pain of the past begins to stir within them it is easier to avoid what they don’t want to feel so they search for an outlet – another way around the pain instead of just facing the truth – their truth. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has done, said or is doing – it is not about another. Your truth is about YOU and only you know what that truth is.
If the suffering is understood, knowing someone’s hurtful ways come from their past pain, we can be patient because we understand. We can try to help and guide this person away from what doesn’t matter toward what really does matter. But just because we understand doesn’t mean we have to continue accepting their behavior toward us. For some there comes a point when enough is enough; when you have tried to be there, to reach out, to love, to be honest and forgiving but to no avail. It always seems just when you let your guard down, when you start to trust again, that spear comes flying out of the blue straight toward you. However, when you are confident and know who you are and know your worth, the spear will no longer affect you like it once did.
Ending this type of relationship does not make it wrong or selfish. It is a choice only you can make for yourself knowing what is best for YOU. For me, I thought I needed someone and I thought I needed their approval, but I came to realize when the last hurtful words and blame were thrown at me I no longer wanted the unhealthiness of the relationship. For once in my life I know who I am in the realm of the life I shared with this person. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I do not deserve to be blamed for this person’s unpleasant life experiences and/or unhappiness to whatever extent it may be. I do not deserve to be the target of the pain they choose to live with. The suffering will stop the moment they choose to live through their Inner Life because they will then feel what they have always been seeking…..pure, unconditional love of self and life.
Love & Light,
Cindy Ortiz, Inner Life Guidance Coach
* Please feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions regarding today’s post, want to share your own experiences, or if you feel you need a little guidance in your life right now. I will always respond within 24-hours PST. With Much Love…..