Depression,  General,  Happiness

Filling Your Life’s Voids

37A void is “totally lacking in something”.  A healthy void is one that is temporary; it is felt but it does not turn your life upside down.  You acknowledge and accept it for what it is and move on.  It is when the void is not temporary that it becomes unhealthy.  A void can come from anything that leaves you feeling empty.  It does not necessarily have to be a major life event such as the loss of a loved one.  It could be something as “simple” as cutting up all your credit cards.  And trust me that can leave a hole inside of you the size of Wal-Mart!

It is that feeling of emptiness which often leads to destructive behaviors such as excessive drinking, drug abuse, unhealthy relationships, or over eating.  Many people do not know how to live with the feeling of the void.  It is not necessarily what caused the void, but the feeling of it. The comfort you once had from the thing that caused the void is now gone, leaving you feeling totally exposed as if you do not know what to do with yourself anymore.  This is when you must think carefully as to what you are going to fill your void with.  The last thing you want to do is fill it with something that will numb you from what you don’t want to feel.

If you are experiencing a temporary, healthy void, fill it with happy things.  Take a trip to the beach or mountains, take a walk, go bowling with friends, exercise, watch good feeling movies, play with your cat or dog, do something for someone you love.  Do whatever makes you happy without it being something that could lead to destructive behavior. Before you know it, your temporary void is gone!

21Now, on the other hand, if you, on a regular basis, feel a constant void, feel “empty” or feel the urge to “fill yourself up” with something or someone, more than likely the only thing that is missing from your life is you.  Too often we replace the feelings we have about ourselves with things in an effort to make us feel better.  However, it eventually catches up to us and before you know it, nothing makes us feel good.  Soon we are left with ourselves, and so you ask, “what do I do now”.  What you do now is love yourself unconditionally without judgment or criticism.  You ARE perfect exactly as you are.  You do not need things to give you comfort or to make you feel better.  You can do both all on your own.  Once you begin to truly love and accept yourself for who you are you will find those little voids closing themselves up.  Yes, they may still come from time to time but they will be healthy and temporary.

If you are having the urge to fill a void right now, be honest and ask yourself, “is the void I am trying to fill really from the loss of something or is it from trying to avoid myself?”

Love & Light,


** I am a Personal Development Life Coach!  I work with people who want to better themselves, their lives, their relationships or who just want to be happy!  If you do not live in the area, no worries!  I currently offer e-coaching (e-mail); a very effective form of personal development.  Please visit for more information or to contact me.  I’d love to hear from you!

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